I'm Still Alive

Yep, still alive just haven't been blogging due to superstitious reasons.

The Wings were on a hell of a run, and I didn't want to screw it up by blogging about it.

Things have changed and here I am, back at the keyboard on a day where I should clearly be out golfing.

Speaking of golf...

This past Sunday I played with Masten and Bechtel at the Grande in Jackson. Mike Vecellio, our elementary school gym teacher and varsity basketball coach at Grass Lake Elementary and High School (and one of the best overall people I have ever met in my life) is in charge of outings and leagues out at the Grande and he got us a Sunday morning tee time for 7:30.

For those of you that don't play golf, there is nothing quite like being the first group out on the course on a sunny Sunday morning. The fog was just lifting, the sun was rising, birds chirping, I tell ya, the whole thing was just poetic. Beautiful does not do it justice.

For those of you that don't know, Masten and Bechtel are both in the golf industry. Bechtel is the course superintendent at Calderone Farms in Grass Lake while Masten is now a PGA Tour certified teaching pro based out of Myrtle Beach at Arrowhead Golf Course. These are two of my best friends in the world and both of them are needless to say, better than me at the great game of golf.

That being said, let's talk briefly about the round. I started out amazingly. I crushed my first drive off the tee and then from about 115 yards or so pitched up onto the green within about ten feet. I ended up two putting the hole for a par to start off my first round at one of the best courses in Michigan. On the par 3 second hole, I won a dollar off my playing partners by sticking my tee shot about 7 feet from the pin. Another two putt and another par and everything was coming up Cole.

And then the wheels feel off for the next two holes when I went 8 and 7 but then settled down to shoot a 52 on the front. Not bad, but not great. At that point, I was just happy to be out there.

I caught a bad case of the shanks on the start of the back nine but rallied to par a couple of holes late and shoot another 52. Like I said, I was just happy to be out there. The course opened in 2001 and I had never played it. I have to say, I'm glad I waited to at least gain some sort of skill before I went out there. The fairways were pretty wide for the most part but errant drives were quick to find the thick rough, woods, or water. The greens were unlike anything I've seen. To say they were fast and undulating (hilly) would be an understatement. Far and away the toughest greens I've ever played. At the same time though, the greens were surprisingly easy to read and every putt rolled true. My opinion of the course was high going in, and even higher going out. On a scale of 1-10, I give it about a 37 and I can't thank Coach V for getting us out there enough.

Now, on to other things.

The Wings play in 2 hours and 17 minutes. Datsyuk is rumored to be back in the lineup and Draper is rumored to be a healty scratch. A lot of people have been talking about how the Wings haven't exactly been playing well this series. I don't understand what they (Mike Valenti on 97.1 mainly) are talking about. Games 1 and 2 were absolutely dominated by the Red Wings. The out shot, out hit, out hustled, out defended, and simply out played the Penguins in those two games. How can anyone complain about how they were playing? I don't understand it.

As for tonight, I see it as an absolute must win game. The last thing I want is for this series to be tied and for it to possibly go to seven games. As much as I love game sevens, I hate them because anything and everything can and will happen. This makes tonight's game a must win game. Just in the sense that I don't want it to go seven games.

What will happen tonight? I think it will look something like this...just imagine the chicken is a Penguin.



The game tonight will be on Versus...which reminds me of a rant I wanted to go on.

THE NHL IS BEING SCREWED BY NBC AND THE FLIMSY CONTRACT WITH NBC/VERSUS NEGOTIATED BY GARY BETTMAN AND HIS CRONIES!!

This is the Stanley Cup Finals. One of the greatest spectacles in all of sports. It should be aired nationally. It isn't aired nationally. NBC has instead chosen to air the embarassment to American society and culture that is "I'm a Celebrity Get Me Outta Here." This is why we have to watch the game on Versus. I cannot tell you how mad this makes me. Whoever put the stamp of approval on this, be it at NBC or with the NHL (which folded like a cheap lawn chair on this issue which pisses me off even more) needs to be fired on the spot. And then publicly beaten and humiliated. Tarred and feathered even. Out of protest, I am going to watch the rest of the Finals on the Canadian channel CBC. I still can't believe a show featuring a bunch of D-List asswipes is on instead of the Stanley Cup Finals. It boggles the mind and PISSES ME OFF!!!

SCREW YOU HOCKEY JESUS! BLOW IT OUT YOUR ASS MALKIN! YOU SUCK FLEURY! YOU'RE A GOON HAL GILL! YOU'RE EASILY THE WORST STAAL BROTHER JORDAN STAAL! GODDAMNIT DETROIT BEAT THESE CLOWNS TONIGHT AND WIN THE DAMN THING AT THE JOE ON SATURDAY!!!

PITTSBURGH SUCKS!!!

School Daze and The Lifting of the Tigers Embargo

Still being a student at my age still has some benefits. Apart from the actual pursuit of a higher education, going to EMU blesses my life in ways that typically cannot be found in any other spectrum. I'm not saying that I love going to class every day and all that nonsense, I'm talking purely about the sarcastic blessings I get to see on a daily basis. Things like showing up late to class and having the professor pat you on the back and say, "Good morning Mr. Cole, glad you could join us." (To which I replied, "Good morning Dr. Quiel, yeah I haven't seen 8 AM in about two weeks." which gave the class a nice early morning chuckle) Also, I love seeing the ridiculous things people wear when it's butt ass cold outside. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate when girls don't wear a whole hell of a lot of clothes but at the same time, I don't want to hear you complain about how cold it is when you're wearing booty shorts and a pair of Uggs. Seeing the random person who shows up 45 minutes late to class and starts asking questions and causing the rest of us to stay for the whole allotted time instead of busting out early, classic. Another thing I really like to do is eat lunch in the band building on campus. Few things in life are more entertaining than seeing a bunch of band geeks congregate with each other and talk about anime and other nerdy things. Always puts a smile on my face. On a more serious note, I really like when an instructor gives the class an assignment to create a blog to put news stories on. This is beneficial to me because...well c'mon, are you not reading why this is beneficial to me right now? Basically this is a warning, if you start seeing random serious "news" stories on here, it's an assignment for a class and not a move to being a "journalist." I have never claimed any sort of journalistic credibility nor will I. The purpose of this blog has always been to entertain you, my dozen or so readers, and to give me some sort of creative outlet in my annoyingly hectic yet boring life. That being said...let's talk about something completely different.

It is currently January 6th, 2009 and my self imposed grounding from writing about the Tigers is over so let's talk some baseball!! It appears that Dombrowski and Illitch have learned their lesson about trying to buy a championship from last season and have reverted back to the ways that remind me of simpler times. They've resorted to signing gritty white dudes again! To replace Pudge behind the dish, the Tigers acquired Gerald Laird from Texas and Matt Treanor from Florida. Laird is a career .255 hitter with 25 home runs and 136 RBI. Not exactly eye popping stats but Laird has a reputation for having a ROCKET for an arm and defensive skills that could eventually lead to a Gold Glove at some point. Barring injury Laird will be the every day catcher for the Tigers in 2009. Treanor on the other hand will serve as a more than capable backup for Laird. Treanor is a career .237 hitter with 8 home runs and 36 RBI, again not eye popping numbers but the biggest thing Treanor brings to the table is the fact that he is married to Misty May-Treanor of beach volleyball and Dancing With the Stars fame. Hopefully she'll show up at a few games and I can buy her a beer and talk about her catastrophic Achilles tendon injury suffered while ballroom dancing. Probably not but still, how awesome would that be?

Another great pickup by the Tigers this offseason was short stop Adam Everett. Everett is known for his range and arm strength and not at all for what he can do with the bat (career .246 hitter with 37 HR and 236 RBI). Everett will give the Tigers arguably the best defensive left side of the infield when combined with Brandon Inge back at the hot corner. Defense was a problem for the Tigers last season and these pickups should help fix that problem. The only thing I worry about is Inge and Everett diving for the same ball in the gap and slamming their heads together which, given each player's penchant for making the spectacular play, is a distinct possibility.

Another area in which the Tigers struggled last season was pitching. From the starters to the closers, the Tigers were, simply put, not good. Things for the staff seemed to cannonball when Bondo had to get that rib removed and was declared out for the season early on last year. The Tigers acquired relatively young Edwin Jackson (who was born in Germany oddly enough) from the Devil Rays, I mean Rays for former Official Tiger of Tobacco Juice Sports Matt Joyce. Of course, my initial reaction to the trade was something along the lines of MFing the Tigers for trading away a young player with a powerful bat and decent glove (remember Cameron Maybin?) for an unproven starting pitcher. After calming down and thinking about it 30 seconds later, I realized that it could potentially be a great deal for a great pitcher. To use the term I've used about eight times so far in this post, Jackson's stats aren't exactly eye popping. Last season, his second as a full time starter, Jackson posted a 4.42 ERA with 108 strikeouts over 183.1 innings and a 14-11 record. However, Jackson was solid enough in the second half of the season (10-4 with a 3.43 ERA) to give the impression that he can shore up the Tigers rotation and prove to be another good, young arm in the arsenal.

As for the rotation, the Tigers have 4 of the 5 spots solidified with Bondo, Verlander, Jackson, and pleasant surprise Armando Galarraga. The fifth spot will most likely be determined during spring training and could be filled by typically solid yet extremely average Zach Miner or the hopefully rebounding Dontrelle Willis or Nate Robertson who both suffered abysmal seasons in 2008. I wish I could tell you who it is going to be but I can tell you that I hope Dontrelle can find the plate again this off season and returns to the pitcher he was earlier in his career.

The bullpen is what worries me the most about the Tigers' pitching staff and it has been a question mark for years now. The main problem is the Tigers have no real closer. Rodney is a trainwreck and has been for three seasons now. Zumaya is coming off an injury and is just now starting to just pick up a baseball and might not be ready for the start of spring training. Freddy Dolsi is an option but is better in the 6th, 7th, and 8th innings in my opinion. Bobby Seay, let's skip him. With no other definite closers left on the market, I will throw a radical idea out there for the Tigers' closing spot. Nate Robertson. That's right. Nate has always been a great pitcher his first time through opponent's lineups but once they get a bead on his delivery and whatnot, he is extremely hittable. Why not just eliminate the first 8 innings of a game for Nate and let him come in and get three outs and a save in the 9th? It's an idea the Tigers are reportedly mulling over but I still see it as a longshot even though personally, I love the idea.

On the whole, are the Tigers contenders in 2009? For me to make any sort of prediction right now would be asinine and borderline reckless. That and last year about this time I was singing the praises of the Tigers and all but guaranteeing at least a Central Division title and instead, the Tigers finished last in the Central and were right there with the overspending Yankees (more on those assholes and their lack of the concept of money later) watching everyone else play in October. Could this season be special? Well, with the much improved defense and seemingly improved pitching staff with a healthy Bondo, it certainly could be. My main concern is this, Carlos Guillen being moved out to left field. Leyland keeps saying that playing out there will take less of a toll on his aging body and allow him to be more productive at the plate. If that proves true, the upper half of the lineup could potentially be strong to very strong. The lineup will look something like this...
1. Granderson CF
2. Polanco 2B
3. Cabrera 1B
4. Ordonez RF
5. Guillen LF
6. Sheffield/Thames/Random Power Hitting White Dude DH
7. Laird C
8. Everett SS
9. Inge 3B
Can you win with this lineup? Absolutely. Will you win with this lineup? How the hell should I know? It's January 6th and I'm just a dude with a laptop and some time to kill.

Preview for Tomorrow - 10 reasons why new Eastern Michigan Head Football Coach Ron English WILL NOT FAIL...and assistant coach hirings.

But Aren't Sloppy Firsts Worse Than Sloppy Seconds?

Wouldn't you rather have sloppy seconds than sloppy firsts? Seriously, think about it. If you're getting sloppy firsts...yeesh. I would much rather have sloppy seconds. What the hell am I talking about? Watch the video and then I'll explain...



Now, for those of you who aren't hockey buffs, the guy talking is Sean Avery. NHL antagonist extraordinaire. I personally like Avery because he is, first of all a former Red Wing (2001-2003), and he's an old school tough guy the new school twist of having the ability to score and set up goals. He reminds me of my second all time favorite Red Wing Dino Ciccarelli (the first favorite is of course Steve Yzerman with Darren McCarty following in a close third) in the way that he's a smaller guy who just skates around and bugs the shit out of people and when given the opportunity, will put the puck in the net. Avery is a grinder type guy on the ice. Off the ice...well he's kind of a douchebag. Last summer he interned at Vogue magazine. That alone is reason enough to call the guy a douchebag off the ice. Like I've said though, on the ice, I like/love the way he plays. Even last year in the playoffs when they had to make up a new rule (the Avery rule) in between periods so he would stop annoying the shit out of Devil's netminder Martin Brodeur. A lot of people said his antics were unacceptable and unsportsmanlike but, until the end of the first period, he was playing within the letter of the law (for those of you who don't know, Avery was standing in front of Brodeur waving his stick around in his face and yelling at him in order to distract him enough to allow a goal to go through, that would annoy the piss out of anyone let alone an NHL goalie so the refs changed the rule book and told him to stop or it would be a penalty).

Now, why is sloppy seconds story relevant to this blog and its readers? The sloppy seconds he was talking about just happens to be the Official Hot Chick of Tobacco Juice Sports, Elisha Cuthbert who is currently dating Calgary Defenseman (and NHL 09 coverboy) Dion Phaneuf. Insert gratuitous Elisha Cuthbert photo here...


Avery and his Dallas Stars were in Calgary to play the Flames last night when he spouted off to reporters after the team's morning skate. After the league saw the video, they suspended him indefinitely and he didn't even get the chance to play and potentially square off with Phaneuf. Avery is obviously upset with how he and Elisha parted ways, otherwise he might not have said anything.

OR

He was trying to pick a fight and up the NHL ratings for the game later that night. This is where I feel that Worst Commissioner in the World Gary Bettman, is in the wrong for suspending Avery. Bettman and his corporational cronies are so concerned about the league's image and all that other bullshit that he's taken some of the fun away from the NHL. Everyone loves a good hockey fight and better yet, everyone loves watching a game that you know is going to be full of dudes flying around on skates trying to knock the living piss out of each other just out of the pure hatred for the other guy (see Red Wings vs. Avalanche). Rivalries, be it personal or team, are what make the NHL such a great sport. So instead of allowing the fuse of the dynamite to burn, Bettman basically pissed all over it so his corporate sponsors wouldn't get nervous about giving money to the NHL. I do realize that what Avery said is mildly degrading to women, probably more than mildly, but I wouldn't know I'm not a chick. But suspending him indefinitely like he's freakin Pac-Man Jones is a bit too harsh for my liking. I do know this, if Avery is reinstated by the next time these two teams play (if he is in fact still playing for the Stars, who were not very happy with what he said either) you can expect to see some SlapShot style old time hockey. Just when you think the NHL is starting to take the market back from the NBA...Gary F-ing Bettman happens.

Speaking of rivalries, according to the Morning Sun, the newspaper for all of the little shitbird towns north of Lansing, the Mid American Conference is looking into the antics of both teams and coaching staffs from last Friday's Eastern Michigan/Central Michigan game. I understand that such actions are typically inexcuseable but the MAC must understand one thing before they investigate too deeply and before they hand out any punishments, the main catalyst of the whole thing, is no longer employed by his university. If they take that into consideration and just file the incidents under "Shit Happens," instead of blowing it out of proportion (like they are starting to do) we would all be a lot better off. The instigator is no longer around...no further punishments needed. Just let it die and tell the officials for next season's game to be ready and not lose control of the game. Morning Sun article here.

As for EMU Head Coach rumors...I have no new news. It still stands at Jackson, Campbell, Loeffler, and Brown.