If I Could Write A Letter To...

Dear Major League Baseball,
Wooooooow. You cancelled a World Series game in the bottom of the 6th inning. Normally, I'm fine with it but c'mon...IT'S THE WORLD SERIES! It might be worth waiting out the rain and finishing the game around 2am. I'm sure the Phans in Philly wouldn't mind a whole hell of a lot. They were going to be partying until at least 4am anyway. I'm just happy your shit for brains commissioner didn't call it a tie. Oh and a quick side note...is anyone outside of Philly and Tampa actually watching this? The only reason anyone else is watching is because nothing else is on. Poor effort MLB. Poor Effort.
Cole
Dear NHL,
It's time to ready the attack against the NBA.
Signed,
Cole


Dear Tyrone Willingham,
I just wanted to say that I have been a big fan of yours since you won the PAC-10 with Stanford (yeah, Stanford) before you took over Notre Dame. I personally believe you got hosed in South Bend and was run off by the administration. When you got the job at Washington, I thought the Huskies were instantly three to four years away from being a program that matters again. Well...I was wrong. BUT I want to congratulate you on not having an ego bigger than the game. I believe that stepping down was the classy and responsible thing to do and wish you nothing but the best in the future. Coaches always talk about accountability and responsibility, you held yourself personally responsible and accountable for the failures of your program and for that I have nothing but respect. If only other perennially failing head coaches would follow your lead...
Cole


Dear Pandora.Com,
You are far and away the greatest Internet invention this side of facebook.
Love,
Cole

Dear NBA,
Tonight is opening night. I will not be watching. Tell dipshit David Stern that his product is on the verge of a ratings collapse due to poor entertainment value and lack of team play. Why do you think college hoops is more adored than you? Get over yourself NBA.
HERE COMES THE NHL!
Cole

Dear Grass Lake Football,
Beat Potterville's ass this week so I can come watch you next week.
Love,
Cole


Dear Mixed Martial Arts,
Ha, ya'll gave it a hell of a run eh? You banked on a guy who lived on the street and a hot chick to carry an entire "league" on NBC (or CBS or whatever it was, who cares), what did you expect? Yeah, I know you're a tough sport and everything but you're starting to take yourself a little too seriously. You need to go back to your roots and just put two crazy assholes in a cage and watch them beat the living dogshit out of each other, then mop the mat up and have two more crazy assholes beat the dogshit out of each other. Rinse, Wash, Repeat. The basic building blocks of success. Nobody cares about the lifestories of the crazy assholes, we just want to see crazy assholes be crazy assholes.
Crazy Assholes,
Cole

Dear Dante Culpepper,
Dude, signing a free agent contract with the Detroit Lions would be career suicide.
Yes, I know you're already retired.
Cole


Dear Readers,
It's good to be back.
Love,
Cole

LET'S DO THIS!!

For the first time since 2002, the Detroit Red Wings and the formerly hated Colorado Avalanche will face off in the playoffs for at least 4 games.

I say formerly hated because, well, it's safe to admit that the Wings/Avs rivalry isn't what it used to be. There was a time in Michigan where if someone even muttered the words avalanche, Colorado, Denver, Claude, or Lemeiux, there would be some sort of expletive following or preceding it (for example, "Claude Lemeiux? Fuck Claude Lemeiux!). What made it a great rivalry though was that fans on both sides hated the other team so much, like Michigan and Ohio State (if I'm on the highway, I refuse to let the Ohio car over, I just won't do it) or Red Sox/Yankees. I remember during a visit to my aunt's place in Denver back in 1998, driving around downtown Denver and seeing "Detroit Sucks" bumper stickers on EVERY public (city owned) bus. I don't know about you, but I love that kind of thing. My buddy Jeremy saw the hit on Kris Draper in 1996 by Claude Lemeiux and immediately fell in love with the Colorado Avalanche. "Dude, he made another guy eat through a straw for a couple of months! Thats awesome! Go Avs!" How he is still my friend, I have no idea.

What can we do to bring it all back? Well, someone, on either team, is gonna have to get absolutely wrecked. I want to see Holmstrom or Cleary or McCarty take a nice open ice shot at Adam Foote or that candy ass Petr Forsberg that doesn't really hurt him for life but makes him miss a few games. I'm talkin about a hit that borders on the gray area of suspension or no suspension. For the few of us that stayed with hockey after the lockout, (fuck Gary Bettman, but that's for another post down the road when I have nothing to write about) this rivalry is still very much alive. And for those who gave up on hockey (Dad) just watch this video...if it doesn't get the blood boilin, you better check your pulse.



Barry Melrose, up until today my favorite hockey commentator this side of Don Cherry, has the Avs winning this series in five games. Let me repeat that...Barry Melrose, the dude with the sweet ass mullet, picked the Avs to win in five games citing that "Jose Theodore, is the best goalie in the playoffs right now and the Wings can't beat that." Ok Barry, way to play to the crowd...best goalie in the playoffs my ass. The wonder kid Carey Price from Montreal takes that prize hands down...Jose Theodore...what a douche. The Free Press has some great playoff coverage with some good articles by Mitch Albom and a sweet "through the years photo gallery." For sure worth a look.

More to come later...Fuck Colorado