Avril Lavigne is Hot Because She's Canadian

*DISCLAIMER*
This post has nothing to do with Avril Lavigne, even though her hotness is undeniable.

I received some troubling medical news today...and it's on YouTube for everyone to see...


That's right. I'm a fat ass. There was a time in my life where I could be proud of the fatness, but that time has long been gone. So I did what anyone else would have done...

I joined a contest.

Rob Lunn over at FWG started the "Formerly Fat White Guy" contest and I'm one of 6 contestants competing for prizes. The person to lose the most weight by July 18th wins. First place gets a couple FWG T-shirts and free UConn football tickets (Lunn played at UConn...seriously read his blog). Second place gets T-Shirts and takes over the FWG Blog for the day. Naturally, I'm shooting for second place because people actually read his blog.

Lunn had this to say about me...
"A lot of people go to school for 9 years, we call them doctors. But in this case, we’ll call him “Tony.” Tony sent me an email telling me that he was basically a chronic underachiever and in keeping with that theme would only be trying for second place, meaning he’d get to take over the blog for a day, score a free t-shirt, and go back to his life of mediocrity. I like his commitment (or lack thereof?)."

As depressing as it sounds, the guy hit it on the head. But not only am I a chronic underachiever, I am a horribly competitive chronic underachiever with a bit of a gambling problem. I'm currently taking side bets with whoever wants to step up. Go on over to the Formerly Fat White Guy Contest Page and pick your pony. Then leave me a comment and let's gamble! It's not about winning and losing, it's about living a healthy lifestyle...and avoiding this...



Red Wings Live Blog Tomorrow at 7. How about you pricks actually show up this time?

RED WINGS LIVE BLOG

Happy Mother's Day

That's Natasha Kai of the US Women's Olympic soccer team. Just wanted to throw that picture up because well, she's kinda hot and I figured everyone who reads this needs to be aware of her. More info on Natasha here.

As for other things, Ozzie and Ribeiro are not going to be suspended just fined an undisclosed amount for the um, altercation at the end of last night's game. This is great news to me because McCarty hopping on the ice when Ribeiro is out there could be very entertaining even to the most casual hockey fan. And yes, I know Osgood embellished a lot after the slash, making things seem worse than they really were but I can also admit that when he crumpled to the ice, my heart stopped working for a second. Not because I was afraid Ozzie was hurt, but more because the thought of Hasek taking back the net has the potential to make me violently ill out of my asshole.

The Tigers game was called off today due to shitty, Ohio-esque weather which is supposed to carry over to tomorrow in the greater Detroit area. Hopefully this will have a "Bull Durham," effect on the team and they'll go on a nice 29 game win streak, or maybe just 4 or 5. I would take 4 or 5.

Finally, it is Mother's day and I just wanted to take this space to tell everyone that my mother could kick your mother's ass. In all seriousness though, to say she is an amazing lady would be selling her short. She married very young to my dad and raised three boys with him two of which seemingly right off the bat. She's been a cheerleading coach for years, a youth group leader at church, a pre-school teacher and the ultimate example of a "Coach's Wife." She wasn't only a mother to us boys, but a mother figure to a countless number of kids in the Grass Lake area throughout the years. Thank you mom for putting up with my brothers and I for so long and for raising us to be the outstanding(ish) young men we are today. For everything you've done over the years, we cannot thank you enough. And I mean that from the bottom of my heart.

Tomorrow is "If I Could Write a Letter To..." day here at TJS so if you have any suggestions feel free to let me know.

Now go call your mothers you stubborn jackasses!