Avril Lavigne is Hot Because She's Canadian

*DISCLAIMER*
This post has nothing to do with Avril Lavigne, even though her hotness is undeniable.

I received some troubling medical news today...and it's on YouTube for everyone to see...


That's right. I'm a fat ass. There was a time in my life where I could be proud of the fatness, but that time has long been gone. So I did what anyone else would have done...

I joined a contest.

Rob Lunn over at FWG started the "Formerly Fat White Guy" contest and I'm one of 6 contestants competing for prizes. The person to lose the most weight by July 18th wins. First place gets a couple FWG T-shirts and free UConn football tickets (Lunn played at UConn...seriously read his blog). Second place gets T-Shirts and takes over the FWG Blog for the day. Naturally, I'm shooting for second place because people actually read his blog.

Lunn had this to say about me...
"A lot of people go to school for 9 years, we call them doctors. But in this case, we’ll call him “Tony.” Tony sent me an email telling me that he was basically a chronic underachiever and in keeping with that theme would only be trying for second place, meaning he’d get to take over the blog for a day, score a free t-shirt, and go back to his life of mediocrity. I like his commitment (or lack thereof?)."

As depressing as it sounds, the guy hit it on the head. But not only am I a chronic underachiever, I am a horribly competitive chronic underachiever with a bit of a gambling problem. I'm currently taking side bets with whoever wants to step up. Go on over to the Formerly Fat White Guy Contest Page and pick your pony. Then leave me a comment and let's gamble! It's not about winning and losing, it's about living a healthy lifestyle...and avoiding this...



Red Wings Live Blog Tomorrow at 7. How about you pricks actually show up this time?

Oh Canada and General Silliness

The complaints from you my dear readers, have not fallen on deaf ears. New job opportunities and a field trip to Canada are reasons for my lengthy absence and I do apologize even though excuses are like assholes, we've all go them, and they all stink.

What has happened during my slight vacation? Well, the Tigers are back to beating ass the way we all hoped they would have (other than dropping the last two games of the three game set to the Twins), the Wings drafted a goalie who will eventually be the best in the league, and then went out and signed Marian Freakin Hossa on the second day of free agency. The Pistons drafted another Ben Wallace clone in that kid from Indiana and then traded him for some douchebag guy who will probably never see the floor (I only say this because I don't know who the guy is), the Lions are getting ready to open camp and disappoint us all again in the fall, and Michigan unveiled new unis for football which are basically the same but different. Let's go ahead and hit these topics quickly and right down the line shall we?

As of this very second, the Tigers are sitting at 42-42 and are 7 games back of the division leading Pale Hosers from the Windy City. Just like I had previously hoped for, the Tigers won 12 of their 15 interleague games during that two week period which is great news. However, they didn't really gain a whole hell of a lot of ground standings wise which is somewhat disheartening. Good news is they are winning again but the bad news is the Sox are also winning a little too. The season is hardly close to being over and ground could be gained in a four game set with the absolutely awful Mariners this weekend. Three of four would be good but I would really like to see the Tigers take advantage of the M's ineptitude and sweep them in their Starbucks loving city. Friggin hippies. No wonder the Sonics left. In all seriousness though, the Tigers had a great month of June going 19-8 and losing only one series the entire month. I wouldn't have minded a 22-5 but really, you cannot complain with 19 wins in a month. The series in Seattle combined with the 6 game home stand before the All-Star break, is pretty crucial. Ten games from the break, the Tigers need to win at least 6 of these games to complete the first half of the year with any resemblance of success. Usually, any team a game or two above the .500 mark can consider themselves still well within striking distance of the playoffs. Verlander takes the bump tonight, Rogers tomorrow, Galarraga on Saturday and Robertson finishes off the series on Sunday. Could be good...could be bad. Keep the faith Tigers Nation, keep the faith.

Marian Hossa is now a Detroit Red Wing. Let me say that again, Marian Hossa now plays hockey for the Detroit team called the Red Wings. Illitch went into his pockets and signed one of the more underrated and unappreciated players in the game to a one year deal worth upwards of 7.5 million. How does this help the Wings? Hossa is a dynamic goal scorer and outstanding passer as well. He doesn't have the defensive skill set as Datsyuk or Zetterberg but he makes up for his defensive miscues with blazing speed. Hossa scored 43 goals along with 57 assists for 100 points in the 06-07 season, and had 92 points the season before that while playing for Atlanta. This season Hossa scored 66 points while playing for Atlanta and Pittsburgh while missing ten games with an injury. This season in the playoffs, Hossa netted 12 goals and helped on 14 others making him the Penguins second leading scorer in the playoffs behind Hockey Jesus himself, Sidney Crosby. Hossa will be just another weapon in the already outstanding Wings lineup. I would expect him to play on the second line with Franzen and any of the plethora of centermen the Wings have at their disposal. Another option is what I will call the video game option which would put him on the same line as Datsyuk and Zetterberg which would send Holmstrom down to the second line and Franzen to the third. A line featuring Pavel Datsyuk, Henrik Zetterberg, and Marian Freaking Hossa could possibly be the scariest line hockey has seen since the days of Hanson Brothers for the Charlestown Chiefs.

As for this goalie the Wings drafted...Let's be honest with ourselves here, Ozzie isn't getting any younger. Jimmy Howard will be slated in as Ozzie's backup this season and will see significant ice time. Jimmy is a good young goalie don't get me wrong, but I just for some reason don't see him as the future for the Red Wings. In steps Thomas McCollum. McCollum is said to be the next Ed Belfour. He is 6'2 205 lbs which makes me think he is the next Patrick Roy sans the bat shit crazy. In 51 games this year for the Guelph Storm of the OHL McCollum had a Goals Against Average of 2.05 along with 4 shutouts and a record of 25-17. Not exactly eye popping numbers, but this is what NHL Scout Al Jensen had to say about him:

"Number one attribute is his net position, it's second to none, there are rarely any holes and he has a great butterfly. When he is challenging and at the top of his game he is very tough to beat. He has good net coverage and he is very competitive; capable of making the big saves for his team. He handles the puck well and his play has gotten better over the course of the year by leaps and bounds. He is definitely one of those franchise type of goalies in the future. You can see that his team is very confident in front of him and he can see through screens very well. In saying all of this, I rarely see him out of position."

Needless to say, I can't wait till this kid gets the call from the big club, he could be fun to watch.

That's all for me today, tomorrow is the 4th of July and it would be unpatriotic to not show you this picture as I end the post. I will have something for you on Friday for sure. It's great to be back!

God Bless America!