Eh, That'll Happen

REMAIN CALM! ALL IS WELL!!

We've got good news and bad news. Bad news is the Wings lost. Good news is they are still up 2-1 in the series and will look to go up 3-1 on Saturday in Pittsburgh.

As for the game...ok well call me a sinner but I didn't really see much of it due to a flag football commitment (team Heisman got beat badly. And yes, that is the team I'm on which pisses me off even more that I missed the game to go and get our asses handed to us, great idea not). I did catch a lot of it on the radio to and from the game though so I won't be just reading everything off of the recap and posting it on here.

Mule had a nice game for the Wings and was even awarded the third star for his efforts with a goal and what I'm sure was physical play. Samuelsson scored the Wings' other goal in the third to bring the Wings within one but they couldn't get anything past the Pens defense and set up a decent shot on Fluery late and the Pens took game three. Sidney "Hockey Jesus" Crosby had two goals for Pittsburgh and Adam Hall knocked in what would be the game winner at 7:13 in the third. Judging from Ken Kal's call on 97.1 the Ticket, it was a fluky goal that was just kind of stabbed at in a pile of people. Those are the types of goals that hurt the most because more often than not, they are the goals that win the games. Especially in the playoffs.

Ozzie had his scoreless streak broken by Crosby 17:25ish into the first period then he dumped in a powerplay goal early in the second. And I just want to go on record say that I am officially very, very nervous that Crosby is going to take over this series and that Malkin will eventually remember how to play hockey and start doing what he does which is also score goals. We may have awoken the sleeping giant that is the Pens offense.

I'm not scared yet, but at the same time I am dumping in my pants out of fear that things could get ugly for our beloved Red Wings.

In other news, the Pistons were down by as much as 17 in the 3rd but are right now down 6 with 4:20 left and McDyess just fouled out of the game. I'm going to go out on a limb on this one and say that the Pistons are not going to win this contest.

In more important news, the Tigers are winning 3-0 in the bottom of the 4th against the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim which is the most asinine team name this side of Team Heisman.

Really quick here let me go off on a rant on indoor rec league flag football. IT'S NOT REAL FOOTBALL!!! There are no pads, no downfield blocking, no tackling, and there is supposed to be no strategy. However, there are teams (the one I play on) that have someone actually calling plays. And worse yet DEFENSIVE SCHEMES!!! All flag football is, is backyard football with refs and flags. You don't need to scheme up a goddamned coverage system in flag football. You don't need to call plays from the bench in flag football. To the other teams in the league, you don't need wristbands with plays on them in flag football. You don't need someone filming your games so you can watch them later in flag football. You don't need practices in flag football (as one moron said to me on the bench tonight to which I replied, "yeah...no not gonna happen"). Tell you what, you get me in a professional flag football league and maybe I'll practice, maybe I'll consider watching film, maybe I'll consider coverage and alignment schemes. Until then I must repeat myself IT IS REC LEAGUE FLAG FOOTBALL! You're playing rec league flag football, you are done chasing the dream, shut up and play ball.

Why must I be surrounded by freaking idiots.

Due to my piss poor mood right now...Ladies and Gentlemen...
Brian Bellows is a superstar.


Ahhh...old time hockey

If I Could Write a Letter To...

Dear Pittsburgh,
Look on the bright side, you're only 113 days away from the beginning of your Steelers annual run to mediocrity!
Somewhere in Belle Vernon, a grandmother is missing a salad bowl and a lot of tin foil.
Cole

Dear Aaron Krepps,
Looking at that picture is like looking into the future isn't it?
Cole

Dear Big Brown's Training Staff,
Do you want to make millions of dollars selling horse semen for the next 20 years or do you want to shoot your horse in front of millions of people after he collapses from his broken hoof?
Choose Wisely,
Cole (more on this letter here)

Dear Detroit Tigers,
Nice work on the sweep of the Mariners last week. And great job hanging 19 on the Twins Saturday. Really, impressive stuff right there. Also congratulations on your 8th shutout loss of the year yesterday. Walking in the winning run has got to be the most creative way you guys have lost this year. You never cease to amaze me.
Love,
Cole

Dear Detroit Tigers,
SERIOUSLY WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? YOU SCORE 19 ON SATURDAY AND THEN A COMBINED ONE RUN IN THE NEXT TWO GAMES? GET YOUR FREAKIN HEADS OUT OF YOUR ASSES! HEY CARLOS GUILLEN, I'M GETTING REALLY SICK AND TIRED OF WATCHING YOU BOOT BALLS AROUND IN THE INFIELD LIKE IT'S A GODDAMNED YOUTH LEAGUE SOCCER GAME! SHEFFIELD, I SWEAR TO GOD HIMSELF THAT IF YOU COME OUT OF A GAME WITH ANOTHER PIDDLY SHIT INJURY AGAIN THAT I WILL BOO YOU LIKE I BOOED BOBBY HIGGINSON! QUIT ACTING LIKE JUAN GONZALEZ AND BE A FREAKING BALLPLAYER! Oh, and Jim Leyland/Dave Dombrowski...DON'T YOU THINK IT'S TIME TO MAYBE SHAKE THINGS UP A BIT??
Love, Cole

Dear Detroit Pistons,
Great game yesterday. Or at least thats what they told me on SportsCenter 25 times this morning. Can you beat the Celtics? Probably. Will you beat the Lakers or Spurs if you beat the Celtics? Probably not. Eh, you had a good run.
Auburn Hills Rock City!
Cole

Dear Detroit Lions,
I'm not even going to touch this topic yet.
Cole

Dear Joakim Noah,
Congratulations on your first pot arrest!
Signed,
Ricky Williams, Nate Newton, Isaiah Rider, Shawn Kemp

Dear Pittsburgh Penguins,
I just wanted to say congratulations on making the Stanley Cup Finals. That is an accomplishment in itself and nobody can take that away from you. Also I would like to remind you that hitting the goalie is not allowed in hockey especially when the hitting takes place late in a 3-0 game. Could you tell Ryan Malone to kindly stop hitting the Red Wings best players 5 seconds after the whistle? Could you remind Brooks Orpik that there is more to hockey than being a goon, like defense? Oh yeah, and I don't want to sound like a dick here but you do know that in order to win a hockey game, at any level, you kind of have to score a goal right? Don't get me wrong, I love what you're doing right now with that whole, "wait until we get them on our ice," thing but I just don't know if it's the best plan for business. Dust off the golf clubs, it will all be over soon.
Keep Up The Great Work!
Cole

Dear PETA,
Stop being so gay about everything jeez.
America

Dear Sports Talk Radio Callers,
OK, yeah we get it, that's enough, that's enough, THAT'S ENOUGH! Seriously guys, what are you doing with your lives? I know the economy is bad and all but come on, how do you have time to call into a radio show and go on a rant about Rasheed Wallace not rebounding enough or how tough Pavel Datsyuk was last night or how the Tigers need to relocate to Montreal? Like, I, I just don't get it. And this goes especially to the ones out there who can't speak proper(ish) English. If you're gonna wait 45 minutes to talk to some dude about Tayshaun's poor ball handling skills, you could at write down what you're going to say so as to not sound like a total idiot. But then again, the people that call into radio shows are usually the one's at the check out line or stocking shelves at Wal-Mart (except for you Dave, you're in the minority for having a well paying job and still constantly calling in to radio shows at the same time). Basically what I'm saying is this: People who call in to Sports Talk Radio are pretty much the worst types of people.
(Other than those that call into Channel 95.5 of course. THEY are the absolute worst)
It's probably time to move out of mommy's basement and get a big boy job.
Cole

Gentlemen, Start Your Remotes

Ok, let's do a little what's on tap this weekend.
Tonight-Tigers and lookintheattic.com softball (who's your dot com?) at 7
Tomorrow - Tigers at 7. Wings at 8. Pistons at 8:30. Christ.
Sunday - 1100 miles of racing with the Indy 500 and the Coca-Cola 600 and the Tigers are at 1.
Monday - Wings at 8. Pistons at 8:30. Tigers at 9.

This all brings up an interesting point. What are you going to watch? We all have certain strategies when things like this happen. I for one will be primarily watching the Wings (of course) and during commercials I'll send it over to the Tigers and then the Pistons just for score updates, not long enough to miss any hockey though. That or I'll just go to the bar and watch all three at once. Which brings me to my next point...anyone want to go to the bar with me and watch the games?

The Pistons impressed the hell right out of me last night. They looked like the old school Pistons. Not the Bad Boys but the "Goin to Work" crew. They played great defense, Rip was knocking down jumpers left and right. Sheed felt like playing so he did and he played well. They had that "look" of a team poised to make a run at a championship last night it was also great to see someone beat the Celts at home. If only they can keep losing on the road, the Pistons win the series. Something tells me that might not happen but I'll be rooting for them anyway. And yes, I am starting to warm up to the Pistons a little bit. And no, I'm not jumping on the bandwagon, I was never off the bandwagon.

In other news...



Jim Leyland went on a bleep laden mini tirade in the clubhouse after Mondays game and it apparently worked. The Tigers looked like the team we all hoped they would be in the sweep of the series against Seattle. I'm not getting too excited just yet though. If they play well this weekend against the Twins then I'll be a little excited, possibly even a slight bit giddy at the prospects of everything possibly coming together. It's still too early to get too disappointed or too happy. Nobody has ever won a pennant in May.

As for the Wings, Franzen was cleared to practice yesterday and will most likely be playing tomorrow night which also makes me happy in the bathing suit area. Franzen is more of an impact player than anyone gives him credit for as he makes the Wings not such a one trick pony with the Datsyuk, Zetterberg, Holmstrom line. That and he's a big nasty bastard who likes him a little contact here and there. It will be fun to watch, I just hope he didn't forget how to play hockey with that long layoff.

What do we as fans need to be aware of as we go into the Stanley Cup Finals against the now hated Pittsburgh Penguins. The key to winning the series and hoisting Lord Stanley's Cup consists of six letters. C, M, S, F, G and sometimes Y.

Crosby - The face of the new NHL. The Next One. Hockey Jesus. Sidney Crosby is the most dynamic player the league has seen since Wayne Gretzky. I'm not calling him Gretzky at all, I'm just saying it's been a while since we've seen a player like Crosby take the ice. He makes everyone on the ice with him better at all times. You cannot stop Sidney Crosby, you can only hope to contain him or hope that he crashes into the boards and jacks his ankle up again.

Malkin - Evgeni Malkin is the other face of the new NHL. At 20 years old he is already making a name for himself as a pure goal scorer who also plays very physical. On any other team he is an absolute superstar and franchise player. He doesn't have the passing skills, defensive skills, computer hacking skills, or nunchuk skills, that Crosby has, but he is an absolute force on the offensive side of the puck.

Staal - Jordin Staal is the most underrated of the young Pittsburgh superstars. Don Cherry has praised this youngster as a Steve Yzerman type of player. Not a huge goal scorer but can put the puck in the net when he has to. A great passer and a true team player who works extremely hard on both ends of the ice. He worries me because he is the kind of player who will get a key goal on a borderline lucky shot that could send a series into a frenzy.

Fluery - Marc-Andre Fluery was drafted first overall by the Pens in 2003 and has been considered to be the true future of the franchise. He has played extremely well in the playoffs thus far with a 1.70 goals against average against 388 shots and has an amazing 12-2 record coming into the Stanley Cup Finals. The only advantage the Wings could have against Fluery is that he is just like Turco in the fact that he doesn't handle traffic in front of the net very well. He will make the saves he is supposed to make while being very technically sound. He hasn't seen much traffic thus far in the playoffs as many of the teams in the East don't emphasize that as much as the Wings do. All they need to do is get in the youngster's head a bit and hope for the best.

Gonchar - Sergei Gonchar is a veteran defenseman who at one point in time was considered to be one of the best in the game. He is also just like Lidstrom and plays a very fundamental game and is a great passer. He'll take the body more than Liddy, but is smart about it as he has only seen the inside of the penalty box 3 times in the 14 games they've played thus far. You cannot rattle Sergei Gonchar. He is un-rattleable.

Youth - This is a young, young, young hockey team. But it is also a very, very, very good hockey team. The best way to beat a young team with a relatively old team is to get into their heads and tell them that they are too young to play against the big boys for the Cup. Out hit, out shoot, out hustle the Pens, and you will win. With youth comes inexperience. If the Wings can get the youngsters to take some bad penalties here and there (namely from Jarkko Ruutuu who is leading the Pens with 24 penalty minutes) and dump a few powerplay goals past Fluery, while staying out of the box themselves, they have a very, very good chance.

Tomorrow night, 8 o'clock on VERSUS the Stanley Cup Finals begin.

I can't freakin wait!

FOUR WINS AWAY!!!

Draper, Drake, Datsyuk, and Zetterberg all score. Ozzie stands on his freaking head and just like that, Dallas is out of the playoffs and onto the fairways.

Saturday at 8pm the Pittsburgh Penguins come to the Joe for game one of the Stanley Cup Finals.

And I can't fucking wait!

More to come tomorrow...