But Aren't Sloppy Firsts Worse Than Sloppy Seconds?

Wouldn't you rather have sloppy seconds than sloppy firsts? Seriously, think about it. If you're getting sloppy firsts...yeesh. I would much rather have sloppy seconds. What the hell am I talking about? Watch the video and then I'll explain...



Now, for those of you who aren't hockey buffs, the guy talking is Sean Avery. NHL antagonist extraordinaire. I personally like Avery because he is, first of all a former Red Wing (2001-2003), and he's an old school tough guy the new school twist of having the ability to score and set up goals. He reminds me of my second all time favorite Red Wing Dino Ciccarelli (the first favorite is of course Steve Yzerman with Darren McCarty following in a close third) in the way that he's a smaller guy who just skates around and bugs the shit out of people and when given the opportunity, will put the puck in the net. Avery is a grinder type guy on the ice. Off the ice...well he's kind of a douchebag. Last summer he interned at Vogue magazine. That alone is reason enough to call the guy a douchebag off the ice. Like I've said though, on the ice, I like/love the way he plays. Even last year in the playoffs when they had to make up a new rule (the Avery rule) in between periods so he would stop annoying the shit out of Devil's netminder Martin Brodeur. A lot of people said his antics were unacceptable and unsportsmanlike but, until the end of the first period, he was playing within the letter of the law (for those of you who don't know, Avery was standing in front of Brodeur waving his stick around in his face and yelling at him in order to distract him enough to allow a goal to go through, that would annoy the piss out of anyone let alone an NHL goalie so the refs changed the rule book and told him to stop or it would be a penalty).

Now, why is sloppy seconds story relevant to this blog and its readers? The sloppy seconds he was talking about just happens to be the Official Hot Chick of Tobacco Juice Sports, Elisha Cuthbert who is currently dating Calgary Defenseman (and NHL 09 coverboy) Dion Phaneuf. Insert gratuitous Elisha Cuthbert photo here...


Avery and his Dallas Stars were in Calgary to play the Flames last night when he spouted off to reporters after the team's morning skate. After the league saw the video, they suspended him indefinitely and he didn't even get the chance to play and potentially square off with Phaneuf. Avery is obviously upset with how he and Elisha parted ways, otherwise he might not have said anything.

OR

He was trying to pick a fight and up the NHL ratings for the game later that night. This is where I feel that Worst Commissioner in the World Gary Bettman, is in the wrong for suspending Avery. Bettman and his corporational cronies are so concerned about the league's image and all that other bullshit that he's taken some of the fun away from the NHL. Everyone loves a good hockey fight and better yet, everyone loves watching a game that you know is going to be full of dudes flying around on skates trying to knock the living piss out of each other just out of the pure hatred for the other guy (see Red Wings vs. Avalanche). Rivalries, be it personal or team, are what make the NHL such a great sport. So instead of allowing the fuse of the dynamite to burn, Bettman basically pissed all over it so his corporate sponsors wouldn't get nervous about giving money to the NHL. I do realize that what Avery said is mildly degrading to women, probably more than mildly, but I wouldn't know I'm not a chick. But suspending him indefinitely like he's freakin Pac-Man Jones is a bit too harsh for my liking. I do know this, if Avery is reinstated by the next time these two teams play (if he is in fact still playing for the Stars, who were not very happy with what he said either) you can expect to see some SlapShot style old time hockey. Just when you think the NHL is starting to take the market back from the NBA...Gary F-ing Bettman happens.

Speaking of rivalries, according to the Morning Sun, the newspaper for all of the little shitbird towns north of Lansing, the Mid American Conference is looking into the antics of both teams and coaching staffs from last Friday's Eastern Michigan/Central Michigan game. I understand that such actions are typically inexcuseable but the MAC must understand one thing before they investigate too deeply and before they hand out any punishments, the main catalyst of the whole thing, is no longer employed by his university. If they take that into consideration and just file the incidents under "Shit Happens," instead of blowing it out of proportion (like they are starting to do) we would all be a lot better off. The instigator is no longer around...no further punishments needed. Just let it die and tell the officials for next season's game to be ready and not lose control of the game. Morning Sun article here.

As for EMU Head Coach rumors...I have no new news. It still stands at Jackson, Campbell, Loeffler, and Brown.