If I Could Write A Letter To...

Dear Major League Baseball,
Wooooooow. You cancelled a World Series game in the bottom of the 6th inning. Normally, I'm fine with it but c'mon...IT'S THE WORLD SERIES! It might be worth waiting out the rain and finishing the game around 2am. I'm sure the Phans in Philly wouldn't mind a whole hell of a lot. They were going to be partying until at least 4am anyway. I'm just happy your shit for brains commissioner didn't call it a tie. Oh and a quick side note...is anyone outside of Philly and Tampa actually watching this? The only reason anyone else is watching is because nothing else is on. Poor effort MLB. Poor Effort.
Cole
Dear NHL,
It's time to ready the attack against the NBA.
Signed,
Cole


Dear Tyrone Willingham,
I just wanted to say that I have been a big fan of yours since you won the PAC-10 with Stanford (yeah, Stanford) before you took over Notre Dame. I personally believe you got hosed in South Bend and was run off by the administration. When you got the job at Washington, I thought the Huskies were instantly three to four years away from being a program that matters again. Well...I was wrong. BUT I want to congratulate you on not having an ego bigger than the game. I believe that stepping down was the classy and responsible thing to do and wish you nothing but the best in the future. Coaches always talk about accountability and responsibility, you held yourself personally responsible and accountable for the failures of your program and for that I have nothing but respect. If only other perennially failing head coaches would follow your lead...
Cole


Dear Pandora.Com,
You are far and away the greatest Internet invention this side of facebook.
Love,
Cole

Dear NBA,
Tonight is opening night. I will not be watching. Tell dipshit David Stern that his product is on the verge of a ratings collapse due to poor entertainment value and lack of team play. Why do you think college hoops is more adored than you? Get over yourself NBA.
HERE COMES THE NHL!
Cole

Dear Grass Lake Football,
Beat Potterville's ass this week so I can come watch you next week.
Love,
Cole


Dear Mixed Martial Arts,
Ha, ya'll gave it a hell of a run eh? You banked on a guy who lived on the street and a hot chick to carry an entire "league" on NBC (or CBS or whatever it was, who cares), what did you expect? Yeah, I know you're a tough sport and everything but you're starting to take yourself a little too seriously. You need to go back to your roots and just put two crazy assholes in a cage and watch them beat the living dogshit out of each other, then mop the mat up and have two more crazy assholes beat the dogshit out of each other. Rinse, Wash, Repeat. The basic building blocks of success. Nobody cares about the lifestories of the crazy assholes, we just want to see crazy assholes be crazy assholes.
Crazy Assholes,
Cole

Dear Dante Culpepper,
Dude, signing a free agent contract with the Detroit Lions would be career suicide.
Yes, I know you're already retired.
Cole


Dear Readers,
It's good to be back.
Love,
Cole