In other news, after years of defending Fernando Rodney and his pitching "ability," I have decided to completely disown him as one of my likable Tigers pitchers. Fernando Rodney, in two appearances this season, has the most atrocious stat line I have ever seen in my life. In his two appearances this season, Fernando Rodney has recorded exactly one out. ONE OUT! He's allowed five runs on three hits, allowed one home run, walked three batters, blown one save, lost one game, and has an ERA of 135.00. Let me type that out so you don't think I made some sort of mistake. Fernando Rodney's Earned Run Average is one hundred and thirty five point zero zero.
The grace period is over for Fernando Rodney in my book. I know he was hurt, I know it is too early to jump all over his ass, but he has played the role of firetruck to the Tigers' hot streak and completely cooled them off. Rodney returned to the lineup on Monday and promptly blew his first save opportunity and gave Freddy Dolsi his first loss of the season when he served up a three run bomb to John Bowker that essentially won the game for the Giants and stopped the Tigers' 6 game win streak. The Tigers rebounded and won the next two games in San Fran mainly in part to the fact that Rodney's ass was planted firmly to the bullpen bench. Then last night he un superglues his ass from the bench and finds himself in the ball game again. Rodney faced two batters, walked them both a la Rick Vaughn, and was removed from the game. Fossum came in and the two runners Rodney gave free passes to scored on the next pitch. Basically, Fernando Rodney I am officially done defending you in the left field stands or in Toledo when you're doing rehab starts and assholes are talking shit to you. Maybe retirement would work. Freddy Dolsi is doing fine Jim...keep Rodney on the bench. DON'T FUCK WITH THE STREAK MEAT!!
Zumaya pitched last night in front of his home town fans with the bases loaded and nobody out, did as well as you would kind of expect. He gave up a two run single against his first batter then got the next one to ground out, struck out the next, and then walked the guy after that to end his work for the night. Zumaya threw the fastball for 99 mph a few times and even hit 100 mph on the PetcoPark radar gun which really impresses the hell out of me. Time will tell us if he is going to be able to spot that fastball around the plate and be a semi-effective reliever again. Right now though, he's better than Fernando. Shit, I'M better than Fernando right now.
There is a moderate to strong chance you may see a live blog tonight since I'm broke as a joke and can't afford to go out for Lezak's birthday even though my life is in danger if I don't go. It's a chance I'm willing to take.
In the meantime enjoy this video of newscasters being Freudian...
See more funny videos at CollegeHumor
3 comments:
Dear TJS,
It's been a while, almost a month....I wish I could quit you! But, on a serious note, great work. I've been absent during the month of June and came back for a marathon reading session. I laughed, snickered, choked up and got a two out single, got angry at your sometimes emotionally driven commentary on things you have no knowledge about (i.e. "pistons administration....which you went on to blow a few blogs later) longed for your touch, missed having your arms around me, and hope to hang out soon. Enjoy your basement, although I think that you secretly long for the communtiy living near downtown and being able to walk to Depot Town.
Sincerely,
the Other Guy on the Couch
Dear Cole,
you need to write a new blog
Love,
your readers
So I just read something interesting... this guy from was saying that the Lions should sign Shaun Alexander... hahaha...
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