It's About That Time Eh?

Tonight starts the opening round of the NHL playoffs. In case you don't read the paper or have a TV set or live in Arizona, the Wings drew the Columbus Blue Jackets for the first round.

Due to the fact that it is the playoffs and I am one of the most overly superstitious people on the planet. I will not predict who will win any series in the Western Conference because only one team matters to me and I could not in any way be objective. But as for the Eastern Conference matchups...

#1 Boston vs. #8 Montreal - An Original Six matchup in the first round features two teams that hate each other more than Texans hate people who read above a 5th grade level. It's that hatred that will force this series to see at least 6 games with Boston eventually moving on.

#2 Washington vs. #7 New York Rangers - Although a playoff season full of Sean Avery (who is back with the Rangers) would be very entertaining to me, I have to say Washington moves on seeing no more than 5 games. Washington and Ovechkin are simple too good. Hilarious preview of this series here.

#3 New Jersey vs. #6 Carolina - Carolina has been playing great hockey as of late and still have quite a few remnants of the team that won the Stanley Cup a few years ago. New Jersey has Jesus Brodeur in net. Carolina in 7?

#4 Pittsburgh vs. #5 Philadelphia - BATTLE OF THE KEYSTONE STATE!! I want to say Philly wins this series but c'mon, the fix is already in. There is no way Gary Bettman and his cronies allow the Penguins to get beat in the first round. Pens in 5 because Sidney Crosby is still considered Hockey Jesus.

And there are my round one predictions for the Eastern Conference. My heart says Boston will win the East but my head keeps telling me it's going to be Washington. I'm saying this and sticking with my guns, Boston wins the Prince of Wales trophy and plays some team from the Western Conference for the Stanley Cup.

As for the Western Conference Matchups...without predictions.
#1 San Jose vs. #8 Anaheim - A great rivalry that should be fun to watch. Don't Sharks eat Ducks?

#2 Detroit vs. #7 Columbus - Blue Jackets first trip to the post season in franchise history...more on this later.

#3 Vancouver vs. #6 St. Louis - The Blues have been the hottest team in hockey since the All-Star break. It'd be nice to see them move on. Vancouver still has Luongo and the Sedin twins.

#4 Chicago vs. #5 Calgary - Chicago is going to be the next big thing in the NHL next season. Calgary has a ton of former Michigan players. When in doubt you go with the team with the most Red Berenson guys. That being said...Chicago is 4-0 against the Flames this season. I'm just saying.

Without jinxing anything, one of the above teams will win the West and take on a team from the East (Boston) for the Stanley Cup Finals.

Ok moving on...

The Columbus Blue Jackets? I remember when the NHL announced that Columbus was getting a team. It blew my mind. Of all the large cities in Ohio...they figured the best place to drop an expansion team was F-ing Columbus? Not Cleveland or Cincinnati? I figured it would never work.

I was wrong. The Blue Jackets (who from now on will be refered to as the BJs because typing out Blue Jackets is annoying and yes for the sexual connotation. They are an Ohio team, I do not like them) have a rabid fan base and a Civil War cannon they like to shoot off after goals in their building. Playing in Columbus is typically not a treat but throw in the fact that it's the BJs first trip to the post season, things could get pretty rowdy and the place could be tough to play in.

Keys to winning this first round matchup are brought to you by the letters, N, M, T, U, and O

N is for Nash - Rick Nash is a young and underrated superstar in the NHL. Nash scored 40 goals this season (5th in the league) and handed out 39 assists for 79 points. Nash has been a Red Wing killer throughout his career. This season in 6 games against the Wings he has 6 goals including two short handers in the same game. In 38 career games vs. Detroit, Nash has 37 points. The guy can straight up play hockey and stopping him is the key to winning the first round series.

M is for Mason - Steve Mason is a 20 year old goaltender from Oakwood, Ontario. Drafted in 2006 by Columbus, Mason is going to be the next great netminder in the NHL. In 61 games this season, Mason has a 33-20-7 record with the league's second best GAA at 2.29. The kid is a shoe in for the Calder Trophy (rookie of the year). Just like I harped on all last year throughout the playoffs, the best way to beat a goalie is to get a lot of traffic in front and pepper him with shots from all over the place. Mason takes up a lot of the goal with his 6'4 frame but he's still very young and has never played in a playoff game in the NHL.

T is for Tyutin - Fedor Tyutin is the BJs best blueliner. Another young and talented player, the 25 year old Tyutin has developed into a fundamentally sound player instead of the human cannonball he was while with the Rangers. 9 goals and 25 helpers give Tyutin 34 points with a +/- of +1. That plus/minus stat is intruiging because Tyutin played in all 82 games this season, you would think it would be a little higher for a player of his caliber. Tyutin had 81 penalty minutes this season. A career high which means get him agitated and he'll do something stupid and the Wings will go on the power play.

U is for Umberger - RJ Umberger was a star at THE Ohio State University back in the early 2000s. Yet another relatively young player at 26 years old. Umberger was great for the Flyers playoff run back in 2007 with 15 points in 17 games. This season, Umberger registered 26 goals and 20 assists for 46 points with a +/- of -10. Yikes, a -10 while playing all 82 games. This is good for the Wings, when you see Umberger on the ice...start shooting. It will go in.

O is for the state of Ohio - For those of you that failed geography or have never looked at a map, Ohio is the state directly south of Michigan that isn't Indiana. Ohio is generally viewed as the worst state in the union. Ohio smells like fecal matter. Ohio cops are dicks that will pull you over for sneezing. People from Ohio are usually uneducated douchebags. In Ohio, it is illegal to fish for whales on Sunday. Ohio is home to Cleveland, Cleveland set a river on fire. Columbus is the capital of Ohio, therefore, since Ohio sucks, Columbus and all of her residents also suck. Columbus is a whore. OHIO SUCKS!!

That being said, hopefully you're now ready to be a borderline educated fan for this first round of the NHL playoffs. All games in this series are on Fox Sports Detroit and start at 7 except on Saturday when it inexplicably starts at 6.

IT'S PLAYOFF TIME!!! Red Wings Live Blog tomorrow night with Otter and a Hot and Ready pizza. If Otter will talk to me that is.

Oh and on a side note...Galarraga pitched an absolute GEM today against the Pale Hosers from Chicago. Tigers win 9-0. Boo-Yah!