"Gas Can" Grilli Traded Due to High Gas Prices

Very disheartening news today as the Tigers traded Jason "Gas Can" Grilli to the Colorado Rockies for minor league pitcher Zach Simmons. This is good and bad. It's bad because I loved to defend Grilli to the death when people would jump all over him. But it's also good because it frees up a spot for recently allowed into the country Francisco Cruceta. Rumor has it that Francisco is pretty damn good so that makes me a little happy but as usual, only time will tell.

In other Tigers news, they beat the Yankees today. Bonderman pitched a gem after the first going almost a full 8 innings and allowing only two runs. I wish there was some way he could come into a game in the second inning instead of the first. Bondo is the league's worst first inning pitcher but one of the better arms in the league after the first. Also of note, Placido Polanco, yes THAT Placido Polanco went yard not once, but TWICE for the Tigers in Gotham (Marcus Thames also hit a two run big fly to give the Tigers the lead for good but that's just what he does, playmakers make plays). The Tigers are one game away from sweeping the Yankees in their last visit to the hallowed grounds of Yankee Stadium before they turn it into a smoldering pile of rubble. Robertson will take the bump tomorrow against some Kennedy dude who may or may not be related to THE Kennedy family but I'm pretty sure he's not.

Speaking of possible sweeps, the Wings will attempt to sweep the Avs out of the playoffs tomorrow night in Denver. I wish I could be there but well, I mean come on, I'm not made of money. But I'll be sure to blog about it or something.

Best of luck to Jason Grilli, a lot of Tiger fans won't miss him, but I will.

Game Three... Now With More Redmond!!

OK, let's run down the checklist...Laptop, check. TV on, check. Red plastic beer pong cup with paper towel stuffed in it, check. Fresh tin of wintergreen Grizzly, check. Game broadcast on Versus, check. Game broadcast on Fox Sports Detroit, CHECK! Mickey Redmond in the broadcast booth...CHECK PLUS!!! LET'S DO THIS!

Forsberg is in the lineup tonight for the Avs which makes me smile a little bit because I hate his guts and can't wait to see him get trucked by somebody. Early scoring chance with the puck just sitting on Jose's doorstep but neither Zetterberg or Cleary could ram it home. Good energy early which is nice to see after a two day lay off and a major altitude adjustment (I hear Denver is located a mile above sea level, crazy).

Tigers are up three at this point going into the top of the ninth as Rapada came in to get out of a bases loaded jam that Bautista got himself into. LaTroy Hawkins will take the hill for the Yankees. LaTroy Hawkins is still in the league??

It's great to hear the scattered boos when McCarty touches the puck. Some rivalries never die.

Ozzie let's up a tough goal on a redirect from McCloed. Kind of bittersweet as one of my favorite former Wolverines TJ Hensick was the one who shot the puck towards the net. Nice work TJ, now never do it to the Wings again.

Ozzie is starting to scare me a little bit early on with his lack of rebound control. I mean, every puck that comes near him is just going all over the place. Those are pillows on your legs, not bricks. Stop scaring me.

Quick interview with Babcock after a commercial break. Babcock is sporting what looks to be a slight playoff beard as well as another perfect hairdo. I'm starting to think Otter has a little bit of an older man crush on Mike Babcock. Not creepy at all, totally acceptable. GREAT pressure on the power play early for the Wings. Franzen was on the doorstep effectively punching Jose in the ballsack repeatedly trying to get the puck through. That'll teach em.

Yeah, this game is going to be a rough one. And just as I type that after another penalty early on Colorado for roughing this time, Datsyuk SCORES!! Great pass by Zetterberg to set that one up, Lidstrom also assists giving him his 100th career playoff point which is pretty impressive.

THE WINGS SCORE AGAIN!!! You'll never guess who it was either...JOHAN MFing FRANZEN!! Johan Franzen wakes up every morning and pisses pure excellence! "That's one hell of a job from a ginger kid," Otter says. "Jose has almost played an entire game this series and given up 10 goals, kiss my ass Barry Melrose." Priceless Otter, priceless.

Meanwhile in New York, Todd Jones comes in, gives up his token run, and earns the save for the Tigers. Just another day at the ballpark. Granderson hasn't missed a beat and is back to his old ways. Sheff also hit a homer tonight breaking an 0-17 slump...which is nice.

Is is just me or is Dallas Drake one of those guys who seem to have been in the league for like 30 years? Great stat from the FSN guys...Samuelsson has shot the puck 33 times in the playoffs and yet he has no goals, which pretty much means he's due. End of the first period in Denver and we get to see Larry Murphy talk to Johan Franzen at the intermission as well as analysis by Mickey Redmond. Which is all waaaaaay better than any of the crap we would be forced to see if the game were on Versus (even though they did have a nice feature on how the rally towel was invented in Vancouver). 2-1 Wings after one!

Second period starts with a fan in a Joey Kocur jersey sighting. Right on the glass on the near side boards. Great to see a Joey Freakin Kocur jersey in Denver. I had one of those, I would wear it every day, and I'm not even close to joking. Weddings, dates, bedroom activities, you name it.

DATSYUK SCORES AGAIN!! Homer and Rafalski get helpers on it. Datsyuk abuses Jose again this time off a rebound from a Rafalski shot. Jose is one goal away from being pulled in three straight games which would just make me laaaaaaugh and laugh.

Darren McCarty goes to the box for a penalty that Mickey says, "he's probably embarrassed by that one." I agree, it's not every day Mac goes to the box for a tick tack penalty like holding. Usually it's for something like aggravated assault or attempted maiming. Of course, the Avs take advantage of a soft ass penalty call by scoring on the power play on another nasty redirected shot past Osgood. Big momentum shift. Forsberg basically crosschecks Samuelsson in the face and earns a 4 minute double minor for his efforts. Gotta stay away from that Swede on Swede violence.

ZETTERBERG SCORES!! Unbeleiveable job on the power play after Forsberg was sent to the box. Datsyuk just kind of saucered one through a bunch of legs and sticks which Henrick banged home to put the Wings up 4-2. That is twelve goals allowed by Jose in just over 5 and one half periods of work. He remains in the one though which I appreciate.

After thinking it would be a penalty on the Wings, somehow the Avs draw an interference penalty in front of Ozzie. And just as I type this, Zetterberg receives the make up call to make it 4 on 4 hockey. "That was all? It's the playoffs for Pete's sake!" Mickey Redmond is better than anyone Versus or NBC can throw at us.

GREAT FOOTAGE of the Avalanche ice crew picking up and saving the couple of teeth Samuelsson lost after the Swede on Swede violence. Old time hockey!

Avs get yet another penalty this time for too many men on the ice. Really cutting a groove to the box tonight the Avs are. They kill this one off though and the diminutive Hensick just about puts one past Ozzie after the penalty kill. Datsyuk gets hooked badly on a breakaway causing Mickey to go on some crazy rant about how the refs are basically allowing some kind of a circus out there. Through 40 minutes, Wings up 4-2. 20 minutes away from giving Coach Babcock a nice 45th birthday present! Thanks to FSN for repeatedly pointing that out, but I ain't mad at ya.

Samuelsson rings one off the post early on in the third period. Tough luck kiddo, tough luck. And now the Wings get hit with one of the worst cases of too many men on the ice I've seen in a while. I mean it was comically bad. Just a little miscommunication, that'll happen. But it shouldn't happen twice in the same period! How the hell do you let that happen twice?? Granted it was kind of a messed up situation where the puck was pinned along the Wings bench and Drake kind of had it caught up in his skates. Remember what I said about how I want to see Forsberg get trucked tonight? He just did, Stewart just absolutely hammered him and he's now on the bench trying to remember his name or what rink they're at.

As kind of expected, the Avs score on the power play after the second too many men penalty to make it 4-3 early on in the third. Sakic gets another assist on the Brunette goal. Kind of an uneasy feeling right now. Otter hasn't said anything in like twenty minutes, but to his credit it IS past his bedtime...poor little guy, needs his sleep. I am really hoping the Wings aren't going to turtle up like they did in game one and just try to protect the lead which kind of looks like the plan and I'm not cool with it. Stewart with another monster hit into the boards doing his best human cannonball impression. Drake to the box for a high stick on Leopold (who is from Ann Arbor but went to State...what the hell Red? He's in your own back yard!). Franzen basically chop blocks Forsberg who is back in the game and was breaking in alone, making the 18,000 non paid refs to just about lose it. Not that I blame them but after the replay it was well...it was pretty close.

This game is getting out of control. Just an absolute madhouse right now in Denver. Both teams are flying around like their hair is on fire. Great old school footage of Ozzie's goal back when Hartford still had the Whalers and Brendan Shanahan.

OZZIE WITH A HUGE SAVE!!! Scary situation there as Jones was coming in on net with some speed and a nifty little dipsy doodle. 1:21 to go Wings win the faceoff in the Colorado zone. Cleary comes in alone and sails it over the crossbar. 30 seconds left and Jose leaves to the bench. 10 seconds...RED WINGS WIN!!!

Wow, what a great game! Ozzie looked very tough, Datsyuk's line played very well, Franzen of course was outstanding as usual...and Samuelsson didn't score a goal.

He'll score two on Thursday. I'm calling it.

ROCK THE OCT!!!

What Happened to Gum Time??

So do we like not do Gum Time anymore in Detroit? Has the magic of 2006 already left us to pine for the days of Gum Time? I've been to three games at the CoPa this season, and there has never been even a mention of the ritual that singlehandedly won the Tigers the AL Pennant. In all three of those games, the Tigers were trailing late, one of which was a win (the comeback against the Twins) and exactly zero pouches of Big League Chew were seen.

Have Tiger's fans just expected things to happen now that we have such a "dangerous" lineup? We as fans can't just rely on the bats alone late in games. The mojo of Gum Time must be brought back. Most of the greater Detroit area's general happiness relies on it.

Now that I've gone on my rant of the day, the Tigers are beating the much hated New York Yankees in the urinal that is Yankee Stadium with an early 2 run lead. And apparently there are no more Baby Ruths in the Yankee clubhouse as ordered by new manager Joe Girardi. This leads to a nice 45 second discussion with Rod and Mario about how much they love candy. The Tigers on FSN is the best TV out there. We have arguably the best and most entertaining broadcast team in the league. Jacque throws his bat down the first baseline, unfortunately no New Yorkers were hurt. I like New York people almost as little as I like the people that live in America's toilet bowl (also known as Ohio).

Robinson Cano strolls to the plate to the sounds of that Apple Bottom Jeans song and promptly hits a home run to tie the game in the bottom of the second. The homer is not what I'm talking about here though. What song would you listen to for your walk up music? I would probably go with Kriss Kross' "Jump," John Denver's "Thank God I'm a Country Boy," or Peter Gabriel's "Sledgehammer." Otter would go with Bon Jovi's "Dead or Alive," or anything New Kids on the Block. Feel free to let me know, I'm very interested.

Meanwhile, the Tigers score in the top of the third but we missed it because Otter pulled a, "Patterson," and turned the channel to Mr. and Mrs. Smith which is borderline excusable due to the hotness factor of Angelina Jolie. Polanco hits a rope down the line to left and some idiot from New York reached down and grabbed, then dropped the ball for a ground rule double. Enjoy the rest of the game in the Bronx jail buddy. Sheffield hits a BLAST into the left field stands to give the Tigers a 5-2 lead and his uncle Dwight "Doc" Gooden something to clap about. Maybe Sheff read my letter to him ("If I Could Write a Letter To..." is going to be an every Monday post in case you were wondering).

I attended the Tigers game on Sunday with Dad which was a debacle of a game. Late in the game though, some entertainment appeared by way of the infield box seats down the first base line. Two drunk college aged chicks decided to run onto the field and spend the rest of the night in jail. This prompted a semi-drunken conversation with a friendly Comerica Park security officer about what would happen to those two very sober ladies. Apparently, if you rush the field at Comerica, you are going to jail for the night and then the Illitch family will prosecute you to the furthest extent of the law. This usually results in a $500 fine and a WEEK in jail. That is seven full days and nights in a Detroit City jail cell. John McCain spent something like 20 years in a Vietnamese prison camp and I'm pretty sure even he wouldn't want to go to Detroit City jail for a week.

Somehow the conversation in the booth turned to the ballboys at Yankee Stadium. "He's a handsome young man," Rod Allen says, "He'll be fightin the girls off soon." Mario replies with, "If he's not already." That is probably as random (and creepy) as it gets. If we were playing the Rod Allen Drinking game right now, that would probably fall into the category of "Bong the rest of available beer and go sob quietly into your pillow." Please guys, stick to ogling the attractive ladies in the crowd, not the prepubescent ballboys.

I swear to God if they mention this is the last year for Yankee Stadium again I am going to pull my freaking eyelids off. We get it, they are moving to a one BILLION (hold pinky to mouth and say it like Dr. Evil) dollar ballpark across the street. You can't polish the turd that is the Bronx, I've been there, it sucks.

We are now about 40 minutes away from the Wings game in Denver. The Tigers are leading 6-2 going into the bottom of the sixth. I'll touch on the rest of the game later on as I need to go get ready for the Wings game. By that I mean walk down to the liquor store and buy a tin of Grizzly.

Random Thoughts of Randomness...

Brian Bellows, Barry Zito, Shaq looks funny in the face area, and Roger Clemens loves him some country music.

We'll just go right down the list with Brian Bellows being heckled mercilessly by Keven Stevens and Brian Trottier in the 1991(ish?) Stanley Cup Finals. Harsh language in the video but I'm sure most of you aren't too prudish to enjoy some swearing and sexual slurs. Thanks to Deadspin about two years ago for the video. OLD TIME HOCKEY!!


That should pretty much set the tone there. In other news, Shaq looks like he's played in the wrong Olympics and you know what kind I'm talking about. This is no new development here, he's always looked weird to me. Nice job with that trade there Phoenix, have fun playing golf or whatever NBA guys do in the offseason.


In San Francisco, the mighty have fallen, and they have fallen mighty hard. Barry Zito has been reduced to bullpen duties for the Giants after a horrendous start with zero wins in his first six starts. This is troubling news for me in particular because I've always been a big Zito guy. 120 million dollars for a bullpen guy who is not a closer. Yikes. I really think that he's suffering from a condition known as "dead arm" and should take probably an entire year off just to find the stuff that made him one of the league's priemere pitchers early on. I wish him the best.

Also in the news today, Roger Clemens loves country music and hooking up with female country music singers with self esteem and daddy issues. Well, he allegedly loves country music and hooking up with female country music singers with self esteem and daddy issues. What a mess he's in now. I don't understand why these guys don't just own up to taking a little bit of the juice back when it was generally frowned upon instead of career death sentence worthy. Way to go Roger.

MUCH more to come in the very near future...

Detroit Doesn't Lose!

I am happy to say, The Pistons, Tigers, Red Wings, and even the Lions, all did not lose yesterday!
Of course, none of them played yesterday which made my night revolve around Dirty Jobs and Versus' coverage of the Habs/Flyers series from Philly. Some call it a sickness, I just call it normal. Carey Price looked very much less than stellar but did cause a quick mini-brawl in the second period. Philly tough guy, Robert Downie kind of but not really tripped Price (very Roy-esque dive but I'll allow it) behind the net which caused a slight donnybrook in the corner. Price was pulled after the score got to 3-0. Philly did all they could to give this game away. Derian Hatcher (yeah he's still in the league) was sent home early after a nasty hit that resulted in a five minute major for boarding and a game misconduct, way to still be a goon Hatch. Habs would score twice on the ensuing five minute long powerplay but that's as close as it would get. Philly has a 2-1 lead in the series and if you haven't noticed, this is my favorite series to watch out of the East.

You want to know why the Pistons are lame? It starts at the top. You all know damn well Larry Brown would never carry a purse...(thanks Hot Clicks and Sports Hernia)



He looks like Sandra Bullock in Miss Congeniality.

More to come later...

If I Could Write a Letter to...

Dear Gary Sheffield,
You are one tough son of a bitch. You've proven that year after year after year in the grind that is a major league baseball season and I appreciate that. Now do me a favor, sit down, stop playing for a couple of weeks, and don't come back until you're 100% healthy and ready to get your average at least above .200. Not tryin to be a dick man, I'm just sayin that I've seen Cal Ripken, and you're not him. Right now...you're more of a Rob Deer and that's not how we want to remember you (and not the kick ass Rob Deer from the Brewers I'm talkin the piss poor Rob Deer when he played for the Tigers. Detroit, where sluggers go to die).
Sincerely,
Cole


Dear Detroit Pistons,
Tayshaun Prince is NOT the franchise. Even though it was really sweet when he blocked that layup that one time, he is a solid role player at best. And don't you think it's time to tell John Mason to stop with the "DEEEEEETROIT BASKETBAAAAAALL," thing already? Mason, we get it, we're in Detroit (well...Auburn Hills which is a polar opposite of actual Detroit) and we are watching a basketball game. The first time you did it, it was cool now you're just desperately trying to stay cool, let it go man, let it go. And Sheed...the hell with it, I have nothing positive to say to you other than you're the best in the league...when you want to be. Oh one more thing, THIS IS THE PLAYOFFS! YOU MIGHT WANT TO ACT LIKE YOU GIVE A RAT'S ASS NOW!
Apathetically yours,
Cole

Dear Matt Millen,
I'm not even wasting my time on this one.

Dear Rich Rodriguez,
Do you think you could just kind of cool it on the whole being in the papers thing for a little while? It's like every day you find a way to say something that pisses someone off and ends up in the paper or on the internet. Don't get me wrong, I love saying things that piss people off too, but I know when to stop (well I sometimes know when to stop). Stop with this public battle with West Virginia and settle this thing behind closed doors so you can just do what you do best. Coach football.


Dear Jenn Sterger,
What are you doing these days? Seems like just yesterday you were some random hot chick in a cowboy hat that Brent Musberger saw at a Florida State game and became instantly famous. You were in Playboy too weren't you? Wow, that sure is great. So seriously, what are you doing now? Oh you're suddenly a USF fan now? Way to jump the shark on that one. Wait, aren't you from like New Jersey or something? Why can't you be a Rutgers fan? Why does everyone hate Rutgers like they are the bastard adopted cousin at the family reunion, and you know the one I'm talkin about. Kind of a has a lazy eye and a body odor problem but still tries to fit in with everyone with his awesome stories about Magic the Gathering and Ms. Pac-Man. tournaments. He was adopted by the creepy step uncle, the one that holds your hand a little too long during a handshake or hugs your mom a little too tightly. Yeah, that's what Rutgers is to America...wait who was I writing to? Oh right, I forgot about Jenn Sterger...just like the rest of America did. You're hot Jenn, just try to do something with your life other than just be hot.

So you like wanna make out or somethin?
Love, Cole

Jason Jones to Perform at Grand Ol Opry

Eastern Michigan Football standout Jason Jones was selected yesterday by the Tennessee Titans with the 54th overall pick. More info is available here. I had the pleasure and privilage to watch Jason play ball for the Hurons for the past three seasons and he was truly a special football player, a tremendous athlete and an overall good guy. Jason will do very well for the Titans in the years to come. Now if only he could hook me up with some tickets...



Congratulations to Jason and the EMU Coaching staff and best of luck in training camp and the upcoming seasons. More to come later...Probably some Tigers stuff since I'll be in attendance.

VICTORY CHEWS FOR EVERYONE!!!

RED WINGS WIN!!! And even more impressive..JOHAN FRANZEN NETS THREE for a hat trick!! Johan MFing Franzen!!! I am loving life right now as the Wings won, the Tigers are up 1 in the bottom of the 7th (Galarraga took a no hitter into the sixth, I like this guy) and the Lions are trying to improve. Today is truly a great day and I will close it off with a nice victory dip of Grizzly (because I'm a cheapass and because damnit, it works). More draft coverage (by that I mean more questioning of the Lions drafting ability) tomorrow but nothing like today, just some light commentary or whatever. Wings go to Denver Monday night (on VERSUS yay!) with a 2-0 lead in the series. The Pistons play tomorrow in Philly and will probably lose again because apparently that's just what they do these days. Could be a long hot summer in Auburn Hills, but hey, at least we have the Shock!

Angels tie the game in the top of the seventh with Lopez on the bump now out of the bullpen.
Granderson triples in the bottom of the seventh with one out. Remember when I said I wasn't expecting a whole lot out of him just yet? Well, Grando is officially back now! He looks like he hasn't missed a beat and that is great news for the Tigers. Sheffield comes to the plate wearing an 0-3 collar so far with runners on the corners after the Angels walked Polanco. Dad has soured on Sheff as of late because he's just not what he used to be. Sheff grounds to second and they botch the turn!! "That is the only fucking way he gets on base ever!!" and that is a direct quote, not from Dad either...that was Mom! It always makes me laugh when she starts swearing, I had no idea she was such a huge Tigers fan...jeez, you think you know somebody. Maggs hits a shot to left that drops in, and scores Polanco and now with runners on 2nd and 3rd they walk Miggy to get to Jacque who hits a sac fly to left to score Sheff. Great to see the Tigers answer back after a three run inning with one of their own. Renteria comes up with runners at first and second and hits a ball up the middle and makes Mom yelp when Maggs almost gets caught off third. "Scaring the shit out of me they are!" Nice Mom...nice. Pudge comes up with the bases juiced and two out...something tells me that a strikeout is in order...I was wrong...he decided to ground to third instead and the inning is over...gotta love it baby, gotta love it!

On an entirely different and borderline depressing note, Astro the Dog died last night. At least he got to kill one more cat before he left us. It's ok though, he was pretty old, and he was pretty blind, and he was pretty deaf.

Talking about the 49ers offense and how horrible they are, Steve Young says, "If there were 50 teams, they would have finished 50th." This is just after Chris Berman used the term, "Anemic," which is almost better than Berman's infamous, "You're with me leather." (click on the link, I'm begging you, seriously, do it...do it...do it!) Jets on the clock, they don't choose Henne, they take the TE from Purdue and the crowd goes...well let's just say there was a lot of 40+ year old with their hands on their heads saying, "What? Who? Whyyyy?" Gotta love Jets fans on draft day.

Jonesy on to close out the game in the top of the 9th with a two run lead...as always, I'm just a little bit scared. First guy flies out, next guy singles, third guy grounds out to second, two away with Chone Figgins at the plate in front of a full to the gills Comerica Park. Brandon Inge almost catches a foul ball on the third base side...gritty play from a gritty player. Figgins grounds to the hole, Renteria makes a great play and a great throw and the Tigers win!!!


Ahhh...what a great day.

It Makes Me Happy in the Pants Region

"C'moooon I could told you those two were goin first!!" Dad already talking shit after the two Longs go 1-2 in the draft. This could get ugly. Dave brought over some Magic Hat beers, Mom made tacos, and crazy Uncle Bruce is also in attendance luckily, he's not really my uncle.

I love how ESPN covers the draft and decides to absolutely HAMMER the Atlanta Falcons and the crazy year they've had. Part of me feels bad, but that part is quickly erased after Rachel Nichols comes on the TV...soooo borderline hot. Falcons take Matt Ryan as the third pick no real surprise. Dave comes up with his first dumbass comment of the day, "I don't think Matt Ryan is worth a top ten pick," pace yourself bud, pace yourself. Speaking of Rachel Nichols, I am very disappointed in the World Wide Leader for not giving Erin Andrews at least a cameo appearance. Like, just let her poke her head into the frame really fast once every hour or so. She doesn't even have to say anything, just let her smile and wave and then go eat some nachos and drink a Bud Light.

"Kirk Herbstriet pisses me off with his damn Buckeye perspective on everything"- Dad
"Nothing like making a team out of Tampa Bay's second stringers," - Also Dad, he's on a roll early folks!
Steve Etman played for Washington back in the early 90's and in the NFL of course he flopped, "Did you just say he pussy flopped??" That one was me half listening to Dave and Dad talk about Glenn Dorsey who just went to the Chiefs. While everything is going on seemingly at once, Franzen scores for the Wings to make it 1-0 leading me to again say, he is an absolute MULE!

The Jets are up...can't wait to see how they screw this one up. Here's video evidence about how inept the Jets are historically on draft day.




The Jets take Gholston, working class heroes from Jersey and truck drivers from Ohio all rejoice. Patriots are on the clock and Leonidas McLovin is the pick most would like to see. Michael Smith from ESPN and whatever paper he writes for, is very good at his job. Way better than the dude on 1st and 10, not the tan dude, the old dude from Vanderbilt or whatever snooty school he went to. I still think it's going to be Ellis from USC to as Mort says, "shore up that defensive front." Mort is better than Kiper. Yeah I said it, big whoop, wanna fight about it? Pats trade their pick to New Orleans who then take Ellis who is basically a fire hydrant with arms and legs. Dude's like 5 feet tall and 300 pounds and the Saints picking him makes very little sense to me, aren't they ok on defense? What happened? Did I just black out? Ravens trade pick to the Jags which makes sense because drafting a QB right now would be stupid because they're not worth that high of a pick just yet. The Jags are looking for the next Tony Boselli who was one of the best to play the game if you ask me. Bold statement I know. Weird, I was wrong about the Jags pick who take Derrick Harvey from Florida and as they show highlights on him from the Capital One Bowl Dave comes up with this gem, "That sack shouldn't count, it was against Steve Schilling he's basically a swinging gate." Stay classy.

End of the first period and the Wings are up 1-0 in a game that is shaping up to be exactly like Thursdays game. It seems to me that as the action starts to get a little chippy, really are starting to become annoyed with each other again. I'm also proud to say that the Wings are playing on NBC today which is at least three times better than watching a game on Versus. Actually I take that back, it's pretty much the same. I miss NHL on Fox. Speaking of Fox...aren't the Tigers on??? Yeah, they are and as we switch over we find that it's the top of the 1st with two outs and the bases are loaded for the Angels "Quick quick turn it I don't want to see it!" Hopefully the ball stayed in the yard and they got out of the inning. We'll check back on them later. (Did you know the Tigers are 1-10 in day games this year? They've played 11 day games already? What the hell?)

Back to Red Wings action and as we get back they are on the powerplay and you guessed it...JOHAN FRANZEN IS A MULE!!! That's four goals in two games and as I'm writing this Flippula scores off a bad rebound off the boards from Drake!! 3-0 Wings with 12 minutes and change left in the second. Barry Melrose?

The Bills shock the mock draft world and take Leonidas McLovin to which Dave says, "That opens up the door for the Lions to take Devin Thomas." If you think the '68 riots were bad...let Millen choose another receiver and see what happens.

Tigers update, hot chicks in the front row drinking the whalebones of slushy booze goodness. Oh and the Tigers are up 1-0.

Zetterberg scores on a move that sends Theodore to get an early shower while the water is still hot. And now DARREN McCARTY drops the gloves with Cody McCormick kind of loses the fight but I'm totally cool with it. OLD TIME HOCKEY!!!

Pierce calls in just to call Barry Melrose a "greaseball who hates the Wings just because they passed him up as a coach." Gotta love the long distance contributions from the Sunshine State.

THE LIONS ARE ON THE CLOCK!!! Possibility of trades are flying all over the airwaves but Kiper won't shut up long enough to tell us what the hell is going on. Dad thinks they take Otah or Albert, Dave is saying Albert, I am saying they'll screw it up and go with Mendenhall, Mom...wants to watch the Tigers and thinks the draft is stupid. "Hell, she only watches football for the tight pants anyway," Nice Dad, not disturbing at all. The Lions trade their pick to KC but they won't tell us for what! We are sitting here in absolute disbelief because the Lions actually did something on draft day that made some small amount of sense. "The greatest pick for the Lions, was no pick." Dad couldn't be any more right. "That's the best first round move I've ever seen the Lions make," Dave is also right. Let's just hope we didn't just trade our first round pick for Tony Gonzales and a sack of marbles. ABSOLUTE PANIC is setting in at the Cole house because nobody knows what the Lions just traded for and suddenly, the TV just STOPPED WORKING!!! OHH THE HUMANITY!!

Whew, ok, that was unnecessarily dramatic...Lions get the 17th pick and a 3rd and a 5th. So the potential for the Lions screwing up this first round pick is still high.
Steve Young says it is "Criminal," that the Cardinals don't win more games. I mean, their jerseys are pretty cool...Keyshawn looks like he was stoned out of his gourd before he got dressed today, was Michael Irvin not available or something? You would think ESPN would at least have someone there to tell them not to dress like circus clowns or Leisure suit Larry.

Lions are once again on the clock and it is very anti-climatic but I still wonder how they are going to screw it up.......and sure enough THEY SCREWED IT UP!!! Gosder Cherilius??? Are you serious??? You talk about a curveball, nobody expected this one and I don't agree with it. Wouldn't you think that after giving up the most sacks in the league last season that they would go with more of a pass blocking type? Ok, after watching the film after the pick, sure, he looks like a decent lineman but not the one we (specifically I) wanted. Marinelli has a plan, Marinelli has a plan, Marinelli has a plan...I'm pretty much speechless right now.

Tigers are winning in the bottom of the 4th, Wings are up 4 at the start of the third. Dave has to leave to go have dinner with his girlfriend. Which will leave it at Dad, Mom, Me, and a about 15 Busch Lights. Still speechless...

Playskool's "My First Mock Draft Kit"

Just a quick disclaimer...I have no idea what I am talking about. Well, I have a small amount of an idea as to what I am talking about but I really have no idea.

The people (well, Dave) have spoken and they demanded a TJS Mock Draft. Well being that I am back home for the weekend visiting Mom and Pop and maybe a little brother or two, what better time to write about the draft? Today will be the mock draft with the assistance from Dave since we're both back home in Grass Lake and Missy's Grass Shack isn't jumpin until at least 10 (Dave helping is going to be like when your dad told you to hold the flash light while he was fixing the lawn mower in the front yard in broad daylight) and tomorrow I'll see what I'm in the mood for. Probably the typical post talking about how the Lions suck and the Jet's picked the wrong guy because well...there are just certain inevitable truths in life and those are two of them, another big one is gravity.

"With the first pick of the 2008 NFL Draft, the Miami Dolphins select Jake Long offensive tackle from the University of Michigan"

And that is the only pick I am going to get right the rest is a soup sandwich.

2. St. Louis Rams - Vernon Gholston LB/DE Ohio State - Some are saying Glenn Dorsey from LSU but I am saying they go with the freakishly athletic Wolverine killer from Columbus and mainly for those very reasons.

3. Atlanta Falcons - Glenn Dorsey DT LSU - I really want to see Matt Ryan taken here but it's the Falcons and they are banking that Mike Vick will be out of prison at some point to lead them to the Super Bowl or at least help clean up the stadium as community service. My bet is, Glenn Dorsey is this season's Steve Emtman.

4. Los Angeles Raiders - Darren McFadden RB Arkansas - With Jamarcus Russel and McFadden in the same backfield, the Raidas are pretty much set for the future. Can't wait till next year's draft so they can draft a great WR with the first overall pick. Yes, I am saying the Raiders will be the worst team in the league in 2008.

5. Kansas City Chiefs - Chris Long DE Virginia - Absolute no brainer here after they traded Jared Allen to Minnesota. Chris Long will be one of, if not THE best player from this year's draft when they look back on it in 5 years. Future Hall of Famer I shit you not.

6. New York Jets - Matt Ryan QB Boston College - Settle down, settle down! This is probably not going to happen as for some reason the Jets think that Clemens is the quarterback of the future for them. I don't believe that to be true and think that Matt Ryan would be great in the Jets' system. Dave is sitting here swearing to God that they are going to take Sedrick Ellis but that pick is too trendy for me. Dave is probably going to be right on this one.

7. New England Patriots - Sedrick Ellis DT USC - The Pats are great at drafting defensive linemen who turn into more than adequate football players later on such as Richard Seymour, among others.

8. Baltimore Ravens - Any Available Quarterback be it Chad Henne (yeah right) Brian Brohm, or Joe Flacco - Trade down and get a QB if Matt Ryan is not available. Please Baltimore, I'm begging you, I can't bear to watch you play with the peanut guy at QB any longer.

9. Cincinnati Bengals - Keith Rivers LB USC - Seems like a good character guy but I'm sure at some point as the ritual goes with the Bengals, this guy will end up in jail for a night for something someone else did. It's just bound to happen. If they trade Ocho Cinco look for them to take a WR here but they're from Ohio and kind of stupid so they won't trade him.

10. New Orleans - Branden Albert OT Virginia - Reggie Bush isn't the same since the hit that left him crawling on the ground looking for his heart that apparently came flying out when he got hit...still hasn't found it. He's soft. Dave says Mike Jenkins from USF who DOMINATED while I was playing with USF in NCAA 08 for ps2 Dave is probably right with this one too.

11. Buffalo Bills - Devin Thomas WR Michigan State - Devin Thomas is a freak of nature type kid and will be a good to very good receiver in the league, gotta love the Sparties and their ability to produce good receivers. Like Mushin Muhammad, Plaxico Burress...and um Charles Rogers...yeah...bummer

12. Denver Broncos - Chris Williams OT Vanderbilt - Big, nasty, mean, strong, everything you want in an offensive lineman.

13. Carolina Panthers - Ryan Clady OT Boise State - Guy got not one but TWO huge blocks on the play that turned Boise State into the greatest Cinderella story in college football history. If I had a team I would draft him.

14. Chicago Bears - Rashard Mendenhall RB Illinois - "Local boy does good" will be the headline in the Tribune on Sunday as the Bears pick up the very talented Mendenhall. Reminds me of Curtis Enis, no wait...Rushann Salaam, no wait...Cedric Benson...poor kid, never had a chance.

15. Detroit Lions - Does it really matter? It does? Ok the Lions will choose Branden Albert from Virginia if they listen to Dave. I think it'll be..like I said, does it really matter? The dude is just going to break our hearts with the rest of those clowns. But if anyone who is not a Lions fan says they suck, I will fight you. If you're a Lions fan and you say they suck, it's ok. Fire Millen, Fire the staff, Fire the Fords, sell the team to Illitch, he's a proven winner.

16. Arizona Cardinals - Derrick Harvey LB Florida - Solid linebacker for a team that needs more than that like say a quarterback who doesn't do beer bongs with underaged girls.

17. Kansas City Chiefs (From Minnesota) - I'm a big fan of trading middle first round picks for proven talent to fill a need. Well done Vikes, well done. Kansas City will take the best lineman available to fix their porous offensive line. Any one will do, just find a large dude and put him in a jersey and a helmet and tell him to hit the guy in the other colored jersey. Dave says "Gosder Cherilus from Boston College and he also has the best name in the first round except for that Leonidas guy" (we've been drinking it's ok).

18. Houston Texans - Jonathon Stewart RB Oregon - This will make their rag tag group of running backs obsolete. Stewart is a hell of a ballplayer, tough runner which Houston needs. Hell everyone needs that.

19. Philadelphia Eagles - Limas Sweed WR Texas - In my opinion the best receiver in the draft and to use a Mel Kiper term, has "tremendous upside." I can't wait till tomorrow to play the Mel Kiper drinking game which would be fun but there's just not enough beer to play it. It'd be like playing century club with full beers instead of just shots of beer. Dave claims Mel Kiper has no college education. Dave also believes in Santa Claus AND Hanukah Harry.

20. Tampa Bay Buccaneers - Phillip Merling DE Clemson - Saw him play once on CBS or something, seemed like a good player.

21. Washington Redskins - Calais Cambell DE Miami (FL) - Never heard of this guy. Go Canes!

22. Dallas Cowboys - Chastity Stripper Ypsilanti Deja Vu - Somebody has to keep Pac-Man busy so he doesn't get banished to the CFL (good god he would DOMINATE the CFL). Dave insists I put an actual pick here and I say that Dominique Rogers Cromartie kid from Tennessee State will be the pick.

23. Pittsburgh Steelers - Aaron Krepps WR Washington and Jefferson - Just seems like the logical choice. He's great, just ask him, he'll tell you. Dave says James Hardy WR Indiana (Dave is cheating by reading fifteen different mock drafts from actual "experts" and insists that we keep this serious. Buzzkill)

24. Houston Oilers er, Tennessee Titans - Malcom Kelly WR Oklahoma (boomer sooner!) - This is another player who is going to have a great impact even though they would have liked Limas Sweed since he's already played with Vince Young and that just would have been a nice little story...awww.

25. Seattle Seahawks - Felix Jones RB Arkansas - Dude was McFadden's backup and is still a solid first round pick. After they released Shawn Alexander (my accidental first pick in the fantasy draft in 06 instead of Tomlinson due to a computer glitch...my season was ruined) it's time to restock the cupboard with a solid back at this pick. I think TJ Duckett is going to have a 1500 yard season though...I'm just saying.

26. Jacksonville Jaguars - Quinton Groves DE/OLB Auburn - Nasty football player just nasty...could possibly give Jacksonville a scary good defense next season.

27. A Whale's Vagina Chargers - Jared Mayo LB Tennessee - Just another solid player from Phil Fulmer's football factory and warehouse emporium.

28. Dallas Cowboys - Ray Rice RB Rutgers - Dave says they need a running back and for the first time all night, I actually agree with him but not Ray Rice. Well...maybe Ray Rice. He might be pretty good or he could be a bust.

29. San Francisco 49ers - DeSean Jackson WR Cal - Ted Ginn Jr clone except this guy has talent.

30. Green Bay Packers - Brett Favre QB Southern Mississippi (do to Dave's insisting, I will say they take Aqib Talib CB Kansas)

31. New England Patriots - They commited the cardinal sin and do not get a pick in this slot. The cardinal sin wasn't cheating, the cardinal sin was getting caught. But like I've always said, if you ain't cheatin, you ain't tryin. "That's how I got through most of school!" Dave chimes in.

32. New York Giants - Dan Connor LB Penn State - One tough S.O.B. and he will do very well, very quickly for the G-Men.

Finally, thats the end of the first mock draft and I am completely done writing for the night because that was brutal. The Tigers are down 2-0 right now after Robertson served up a MOONshot to Vlad the Impaler in the top of the 4th. The Pistons are playing too...eh, wake me up when it's game 7.

TOMORROW! Live blog of all the events on tap. Wings at 3, Draft at 3, Tigers at 3:30. Holy mother of God.

DEEEETROIT....(yawwwwn)

The Pistons play the Sixers tonight in first round NBA Action. I probably won't watch unless it's between innings of the Tigers game or unless that's what everyone else wants to watch.

I think I've just been spoiled by the Pistons ever since the 2003 season. I've never been a HUGE Pistons fan but I still call them "My" NBA Team and up until this season at least, I have always been a big supporter and would watch them on TV if I had the time or maybe make an effort to go to a game or a "Palacevision" during the playoffs. I don't know what happened, but a wave of general apathy towards the Stones has crashed down on me this season.

There are many factors for this apathy towards my "Beloved" Pistons and I'll list them for you. First of all, the Tigers had a HUGE off-season, just retardedly huge. Things I never thought I would ever see from Dave Dombrowski and the Illitch family, I saw with my very eyes. The anticipation for spring training kind of drowned out any thought of the Pistons. Another reason is the University of Michigan and the dramatic hiring of RichRod and his posse. Staying with the Maize and Blue, another reason is the success of Michigan Hockey this season which I can safely say, nobody expected to happen. They were scary good at times (Porter and Kolarik on the same NHL line next season in Phoenix?? Yikes) and well...I don't want to talk about the Frozen Four. The success of the Red Wings drowned out the Pistons for me just as much as that period they went through in February when the Wings lost like 8 straight. The ESPN and TNT coverage of the NBA to me is just annoying so I just don't watch it, also a contributing factor. But the main reason I still care, but kind of am ok with not caring a whole lot, about the Pistons...

The Indiana Pacers. Never have I seen a franchise crumble with such velocity with management not having a single thing to do with it other than drafting and trading for the players. The easy way to talk about this issue is to bring up the brawl and how Ron Artest is a knucklehead and Stephen Jackson fighting with Turtle from Entourage, which of course is a gigantic factor in the demise of the Indiana Pacers. But the brawl was something that a team can recover from. Sure Artest was done for the season after beating up the wrong guy (who, after watching the video hundreds of times, was laughing his ass off at the guy who did it and then went total deer in the headlights, "holy shit I'm gonna die," before getting pummeled by Artest, still makes me chuckle a bit) and Jackson and O'Neal both also earned hefty suspensions and fines which really cut the core of the deam down to an old guy who loves Spike Lee and some young white dude from the east coast and Bill Walton's loveslave Jeff Foster. Somehow, Rick Carlisle (I still think he is one of the best coaches in the league, just wanted to say it) found a way to sneak the team into the playoffs. The brawl did not doom the franchise, this franchise and rivalry was doomed the spring after the brawl. The Franchise and the Rivalry died on May 19, 2005.


Dave, Jerm, Pat, Tom, and I drove to Indianapolis to watch game 6, a potential series clincher for the Pistons, so naturally, with our Ben Wallace afros we bought some nose bleed seats and were the assholes from Detroit the entire game which happened to be Reggie Miller's last one in the Association. Of course, Conseco Field House gave Reggie about a ten minute standing ovation as he walked off the floor late in the fourth quarter, people around us were crying, Dave was taking pictures, I was misting up a bit even (I got a splash of beer in my eye or it was dusty in the Fieldhouse or something) and Jerm stood there and did nothing, he may have even booed but that's what he does. Reggie Miller, his jacked up grill (seriously, look at his teeth sometime...it's creepy), and his smooth shooting touch, were the face of the Indiana Pacers. The true identity of what that team stood for and what the Association wanted their players to be. I remember Reggie Miller single handedly keeping the Pacers alive against the Knicks in those crazy games at Madison Square Garden with nothing more than grit and a smooth three point shot. Seeing Reggie and Spike Lee exchange barbs that whole series gave me a team and a player to root for (this was during the dark era of the Pistons when they had just made the transition to teal uniforms, it was a dark era because I just plain and simply refused to watch them anymore and I was only like 11 or 12, I know stupid when I see it). As we left Indianapolis that night I started thinking that, there was no way the rivalry could get any better than that. It was at its pinnacle the moment Reggie left the floor and for me at least, has been on the downslope ever since. This year the Pacers didn't even make the playoffs. Artest, the man everyone loves to hate, is in Sacramento, Stephen Jackson is...I don't actually, in jail somewhere maybe? And Jermaine O'Neal is doing his best Chris Webber impression by having unlimited talent be limited by bad knees and freak injuries. I used to get all fired up about the Pistons and the playoffs, and I still might, but right now...it's just not the same. Sheed still does his dance, Rip is still running around, Chauncey still hits big shots, Maxiel still impresses me sometimes, Lindsey is still a little ball of hate, and I still don't really care anymore.

Unless they give me a reason to...

Old Time Hockey!

Let me tell you why I hate Versus...BECAUSE IT'S FREAKING VERSUS!!!
Nice work with that TV Contract Bettman, instead of staying with The World Wide Leader (ESPN) you signed the NHL to at TV deal with the frigging Outdoor Life Network which in theory was a great idea because so many hockey fans also like to hunt and fish so yeah it makes perfect sense to completely alienate the rest of your fan base. Dumbass.

Great commercial by Versus for the Stanley Cup Playoffs featuring the red goal light ("I am victory, I am defeat..."). No, really, I liked it, nice job. Also, another good thing about Versus is the voice of Mike Emerick calling the games, really takes me back to the days of NHL on Fox and the horribly awesome glowing puck..."You love to hate the glowing puck," Thanks Otter for chiming in.

Sweet Jesus do I need a dip. That first period was as my Grandma Maris says, "Nuckin Futs." It's fast, it's physical, and the Wings own a 3-1 lead after the first stanza. Colorado started off the scoring with a nice one timer past Ozzie from behind the net (Paul Stasny worries me) then Zetterberg scored on a nifty give and go with Datsyuk which words really cannot describe how pretty it was. Cleary scored on a shallow pop fly to right over Theodore's head (looked a lot like Pudge's homer against the Twins last week which my brother called an "alley-oop home run") then Franzen, who is an absolute mule out there, re-directed to give the Wings the two goal lead. Which is the worst lead in hockey.

On a different note, Tubaro called during the 1st and I spoiled the second goal for him because Comcast's HD is delayed at his place...yeah T life sure is tough isn't it? Oh and he was also watching the E! True Hollywood Story on Pink during the commercials...not that there's anything wrong with that. Mike Babcock's hair is looking particularly Ron Burgundy-esque tonight, I just hope he's not French Canadian. Flappy jawed white flag wavin homos. "I wonder what Mickey Redmond thinks of that call," excellent color commentary Otter, they don't call you the best in the business for nothing.

Meanwhile in Montreal (on CBC, Canadian TV rocks, mainly because they talk funny)...Mike Komisarek, one of my all time Michigan Hockey favorites, is a human wrecking ball and just earned a nice two minute penalty for slamming a Flyer into the boards just after the whistle...two minutes well worth it. Montreal ties up the game on a questionable short handed goal that is being reviewed as we speak due to a possible high stick by Kovalev. I love how the NHL does all of it's video review from Toronto by the way. And it's a goal and the French people erupt into a white flag waving fury.

Of course, as we are watching the CBC because Canadian people talk funny (have I mentioned that yet?) the Wings score again on a blast by Franzen (a FREAKING MULE!!!) and make it 4-1 in the second, which chases Jose from the game and sufficiently makes Barry Melrose eat his words for the day. Somewhere, Mickey Redmond is smiling a shit eating grin. I love it. More later...

Just to clear things up really quick a commenter (yes, people leave comments sometimes, well that was the first time but whatever feel free to comment) that I don't like Canada or her people which is simply not true. I have no issues with Canadian people...just French Canadian people. Just like I don't like a lot of American people...

Otter brought up a good point before the Avs made it a 4-3 game with a couple of decent goals (one assisted by Statsny) what happened to PASS?? PASS Sports was local sports before Fox bought all the rights to every competitive activity available. "Who's the owner of Fox? He should buy Versus and turn it back into PASS." Steve Otterbein ladies and gentleman.

In other news...a great night in the ghetto tonight. Otter and I enjoyed a nice Little Caesars Hot and Ready pizza (which caused T to exclaim, "Why don't you just give Mike Illicth ALL of your money?") and are now dipping some Skoal straight that I, um, borrowed from the dudes downstairs today when I was helping Krepps pack up his Mom's Ford Windstar for his trip back home to Pittsburgh. And for the record, I feel really bad about it but then again, times are tough and money is tight and c'mon, you can't leave a two tin roll just chilling on your porch in broad daylight while you're all at class...it's like leaving your car running in the parking lot across the street at 4am and not expecting anything bad to happen while you go have a couple beers. You can't fix stupid. Third period action coming up...

4:05 into the third and Mike Babcock's hair is still perfect. If Otter had a John Madden telestrator he would be circling Babcock's hair and going on a rant about how "not a single hair is out of place." The irony in Otter's obsession with Babcock's hair is that he shaves his head to look like Sean Connery in, "The Rock," or maybe it's more of an Ed Norton in, "American History X." Nope, nope, I got it...it's Moby, definitely Moby. Steve Yzerman's Tiger is Chris Shelton.

Versus is the master of the dramatic commercial, they just made professional bull riding look like a promo for Grey's Anatomy.

Budaj is absolutely standing on his head right now after he stones Zetterberg on a semi breakaway. I miss Jose already. And that J in "Jose" is a hard J, not a soft J, you know, like jogging. (Cue NBC "The More You Know" music here)

Around 4 minutes left in this one and we go to commercial and now Otter is pulling a Patterson and changes the channel to the replay of the Tigers game on FSD which we all already know what happened (the Tigers peckerslapped the Rangers again 8-2 for their first sweep of the season), luckily no goals this time.

Text message from Tubaro: "We are getting our asses kicked right now." Um, no shit T, the ice has for sure tilted down towards Ozzie and now with three to go it looks like the Wings are content with playing not to lose for the remainder of the game but c'mon boys, it's Ozzie in net, not Jesus.

Avs pull Budaj with just over a minute left and Mike Emerick is treating this last minute like it's the 1980 Olympics. Crowd chanting "OZZIE OZZIE OZZIE" and Osgood obliges with a HUGE save with 8.3 to go that caused the two idiots in this room to almost crap themselves.

RED WINGS WIN THEEEEEE RED WINGS WIN!!!

Now THAT was a great hockey game! Fast paced, hard hitting, great goaltending on both sides...this is going to be a great series.

ROCK THE OCT!!

LET'S DO THIS!!

For the first time since 2002, the Detroit Red Wings and the formerly hated Colorado Avalanche will face off in the playoffs for at least 4 games.

I say formerly hated because, well, it's safe to admit that the Wings/Avs rivalry isn't what it used to be. There was a time in Michigan where if someone even muttered the words avalanche, Colorado, Denver, Claude, or Lemeiux, there would be some sort of expletive following or preceding it (for example, "Claude Lemeiux? Fuck Claude Lemeiux!). What made it a great rivalry though was that fans on both sides hated the other team so much, like Michigan and Ohio State (if I'm on the highway, I refuse to let the Ohio car over, I just won't do it) or Red Sox/Yankees. I remember during a visit to my aunt's place in Denver back in 1998, driving around downtown Denver and seeing "Detroit Sucks" bumper stickers on EVERY public (city owned) bus. I don't know about you, but I love that kind of thing. My buddy Jeremy saw the hit on Kris Draper in 1996 by Claude Lemeiux and immediately fell in love with the Colorado Avalanche. "Dude, he made another guy eat through a straw for a couple of months! Thats awesome! Go Avs!" How he is still my friend, I have no idea.

What can we do to bring it all back? Well, someone, on either team, is gonna have to get absolutely wrecked. I want to see Holmstrom or Cleary or McCarty take a nice open ice shot at Adam Foote or that candy ass Petr Forsberg that doesn't really hurt him for life but makes him miss a few games. I'm talkin about a hit that borders on the gray area of suspension or no suspension. For the few of us that stayed with hockey after the lockout, (fuck Gary Bettman, but that's for another post down the road when I have nothing to write about) this rivalry is still very much alive. And for those who gave up on hockey (Dad) just watch this video...if it doesn't get the blood boilin, you better check your pulse.



Barry Melrose, up until today my favorite hockey commentator this side of Don Cherry, has the Avs winning this series in five games. Let me repeat that...Barry Melrose, the dude with the sweet ass mullet, picked the Avs to win in five games citing that "Jose Theodore, is the best goalie in the playoffs right now and the Wings can't beat that." Ok Barry, way to play to the crowd...best goalie in the playoffs my ass. The wonder kid Carey Price from Montreal takes that prize hands down...Jose Theodore...what a douche. The Free Press has some great playoff coverage with some good articles by Mitch Albom and a sweet "through the years photo gallery." For sure worth a look.

More to come later...Fuck Colorado

HE'S BAAAAAAAAAACK!!!

Ladies and Gentlemen, the catalyst that is Curtis Granderson is back in the lineup.

I know, I know, he hasn't seen real live big league pitching in a while so I'm not really expecting great things from him tonight or even this week just yet. The only sad thing is no more Clete Thomas who was nothing short of spectacular for the Tigers during the dark period of the early stages of this 2008 season.

As for the attempted "live" blog...Patterson was watching King of Queens instead of the game so I missed the whole first inning. But I really wouldn't say I've been missing it Bob. 2-0 after 1, and now 5-0 after two innings for The Gambler. Would somebody please get this man a pine tar rag?

I wonder how many Camels Jimmy has already gone through...Lots of baseball left in this one and I'll be sure to update accordingly unless we (the roommates) decide to drink in honor of one Aaron Krepps who is moving back to Pittsburgh tomorrow (and claims Andy Van Slyke was his hero growing up).

And holy smokes it's update time already!! Nobody out in the bottom of the 2nd, bases chock full of Tigers when Santiago lines one down the first base line to score two, causing Otter to exclaim "Thank you groundscrew!" after it went under the first basemen's glove. Thank you Heather Nabozny, thank you. Runners on 2nd and 3rd with one away and Pudge strikes out...weird. Carlos fouls one off his knee which makes me think he needs to just wear all of Vance Wilson's gear (he's not using it anyway it's fine) to the plate from now on. Gritty performance by Carlos there, "Carlos hit a MISSLE right there," Rod Allen says (doesn't he have a drinking game and a youtube clip?) after Carlos doubles off the right field wall to score two and tie the game. Mendoza chased from the game and the channel is changed for the moment to the Pistons first "must win" game of the playoffs.

"You look like Mr. T right now, with your shirt off and your sweet gold chain hanging there...you need to grow a fuckin mohawk or something," - Patterson to Krepps

All the bad things I have said about Jacque Jones (calling him a poor man's Higgy among other nasty things) I now retract after he hits a BOMB to right to give the Tigers the lead after three.

You know what's great about living in Ypsilanti in the spring time? Watching the people take the late evening stroll through town with their 5 kids (2 of which were featured on the Maury Povich show titled, "Who's my daddy?" parts 6 and 13) and two poorly trained pit bulls...

"Nice fuckin three and a third there Kenny Rogers," Otter says before spitting into a Mountain Dew bottle. I'm tellin you, the dude needs the pine tar...he THRIVES on the pine tar. He needs it, he loves it, he wants it.

Maggs comes up with the "sacks full of tigers" (thanks Mario) and hits a drive which causes all of those in the room to start yelling as if we've never seen a routine fly ball to left with the bases loaded before. Idiots, we're all idiots. Granderson scores and the Tigers have the lead in the bottom of the 4th with two on, two away and Cabrera up who hits a rope and gets robbed of two RBI by Blaylock to end the inning and let the Busch Lights flow as Jenny has come through in the clutch and brought us the traditional 30 rack. Patty's gotta marry this broad.

One minute, we're all playing ghetto ass beer pong, the next minute the tigers have an 11 run 6th and are on their way to an absolute donkey punching of the Rangers. Gotta love it. I told you morons calling in to 97.1 that it's not at all time to panic. And yes, before you flip out on me, I know it's one game and not a big deal but c'mon man...we are who we thought we were gonna be.

HUGE Wings/Avs post tomorrow...

What in the Hell is a Blog?

CONGRATULATIONS!! Somehow you've stumbled across the information superhighway and found your way to my lame ass Tobacco Juice Sports (TJS) Blog. Now you might be thinking, "Hey man, you can't just randomly throw a blog up on the internet and expect people to read it and actually give a crap about it." Well, you're right. I don't expect anyone to read it other than the people I tell to read it and the poor saps who accidentally click on the wrong button.

That was my disclaimer. Now, what am I really going to write about? Well, how about the Detroit Tigers? Would you like to read a "live" blog about me watching the Tigers in my ghetto ass Ypsilanti apartment? You would? Awesome, ok I'll write about that. How about the Wings? I'll write about the Wings too then. Ok, how about I just write about whatever Detroit area professional sports team, college teams, and random shout outs to the Grass Lake Warriors baseball and football teams? Sound good? It doesn't?

Well blow me. I'll do it anyway.

Later tonight, I'll see if I can't figure out the best way to "live" blog the Tigers from the comfort of my own couch (a la Bill Simmons).

And now...a picture of Lenny Dykstra for the ladies.