"C'moooon I could told you those two were goin first!!" Dad already talking shit after the two Longs go 1-2 in the draft. This could get ugly. Dave brought over some Magic Hat beers, Mom made tacos, and crazy Uncle Bruce is also in attendance luckily, he's not really my uncle.
I love how ESPN covers the draft and decides to absolutely HAMMER the Atlanta Falcons and the crazy year they've had. Part of me feels bad, but that part is quickly erased after Rachel Nichols comes on the TV...soooo borderline hot. Falcons take Matt Ryan as the third pick no real surprise. Dave comes up with his first dumbass comment of the day, "I don't think Matt Ryan is worth a top ten pick," pace yourself bud, pace yourself. Speaking of Rachel Nichols, I am very disappointed in the World Wide Leader for not giving Erin Andrews at least a cameo appearance. Like, just let her poke her head into the frame really fast once every hour or so. She doesn't even have to say anything, just let her smile and wave and then go eat some nachos and drink a Bud Light.
"Kirk Herbstriet pisses me off with his damn Buckeye perspective on everything"- Dad
"Nothing like making a team out of Tampa Bay's second stringers," - Also Dad, he's on a roll early folks!
Steve Etman played for Washington back in the early 90's and in the NFL of course he flopped, "Did you just say he pussy flopped??" That one was me half listening to Dave and Dad talk about Glenn Dorsey who just went to the Chiefs. While everything is going on seemingly at once, Franzen scores for the Wings to make it 1-0 leading me to again say, he is an absolute MULE!
The Jets are up...can't wait to see how they screw this one up. Here's video evidence about how inept the Jets are historically on draft day.
The Jets take Gholston, working class heroes from Jersey and truck drivers from Ohio all rejoice. Patriots are on the clock and Leonidas McLovin is the pick most would like to see. Michael Smith from ESPN and whatever paper he writes for, is very good at his job. Way better than the dude on 1st and 10, not the tan dude, the old dude from Vanderbilt or whatever snooty school he went to. I still think it's going to be Ellis from USC to as Mort says, "shore up that defensive front." Mort is better than Kiper. Yeah I said it, big whoop, wanna fight about it? Pats trade their pick to New Orleans who then take Ellis who is basically a fire hydrant with arms and legs. Dude's like 5 feet tall and 300 pounds and the Saints picking him makes very little sense to me, aren't they ok on defense? What happened? Did I just black out? Ravens trade pick to the Jags which makes sense because drafting a QB right now would be stupid because they're not worth that high of a pick just yet. The Jags are looking for the next Tony Boselli who was one of the best to play the game if you ask me. Bold statement I know. Weird, I was wrong about the Jags pick who take Derrick Harvey from Florida and as they show highlights on him from the Capital One Bowl Dave comes up with this gem, "That sack shouldn't count, it was against Steve Schilling he's basically a swinging gate." Stay classy.
End of the first period and the Wings are up 1-0 in a game that is shaping up to be exactly like Thursdays game. It seems to me that as the action starts to get a little chippy, really are starting to become annoyed with each other again. I'm also proud to say that the Wings are playing on NBC today which is at least three times better than watching a game on Versus. Actually I take that back, it's pretty much the same. I miss NHL on Fox. Speaking of Fox...aren't the Tigers on??? Yeah, they are and as we switch over we find that it's the top of the 1st with two outs and the bases are loaded for the Angels "Quick quick turn it I don't want to see it!" Hopefully the ball stayed in the yard and they got out of the inning. We'll check back on them later. (Did you know the Tigers are 1-10 in day games this year? They've played 11 day games already? What the hell?)
Back to Red Wings action and as we get back they are on the powerplay and you guessed it...JOHAN FRANZEN IS A MULE!!! That's four goals in two games and as I'm writing this Flippula scores off a bad rebound off the boards from Drake!! 3-0 Wings with 12 minutes and change left in the second. Barry Melrose?
The Bills shock the mock draft world and take Leonidas McLovin to which Dave says, "That opens up the door for the Lions to take Devin Thomas." If you think the '68 riots were bad...let Millen choose another receiver and see what happens.
Tigers update, hot chicks in the front row drinking the whalebones of slushy booze goodness. Oh and the Tigers are up 1-0.
Zetterberg scores on a move that sends Theodore to get an early shower while the water is still hot. And now DARREN McCARTY drops the gloves with Cody McCormick kind of loses the fight but I'm totally cool with it. OLD TIME HOCKEY!!!
Pierce calls in just to call Barry Melrose a "greaseball who hates the Wings just because they passed him up as a coach." Gotta love the long distance contributions from the Sunshine State.
THE LIONS ARE ON THE CLOCK!!! Possibility of trades are flying all over the airwaves but Kiper won't shut up long enough to tell us what the hell is going on. Dad thinks they take Otah or Albert, Dave is saying Albert, I am saying they'll screw it up and go with Mendenhall, Mom...wants to watch the Tigers and thinks the draft is stupid. "Hell, she only watches football for the tight pants anyway," Nice Dad, not disturbing at all. The Lions trade their pick to KC but they won't tell us for what! We are sitting here in absolute disbelief because the Lions actually did something on draft day that made some small amount of sense. "The greatest pick for the Lions, was no pick." Dad couldn't be any more right. "That's the best first round move I've ever seen the Lions make," Dave is also right. Let's just hope we didn't just trade our first round pick for Tony Gonzales and a sack of marbles. ABSOLUTE PANIC is setting in at the Cole house because nobody knows what the Lions just traded for and suddenly, the TV just STOPPED WORKING!!! OHH THE HUMANITY!!
Whew, ok, that was unnecessarily dramatic...Lions get the 17th pick and a 3rd and a 5th. So the potential for the Lions screwing up this first round pick is still high.
Steve Young says it is "Criminal," that the Cardinals don't win more games. I mean, their jerseys are pretty cool...Keyshawn looks like he was stoned out of his gourd before he got dressed today, was Michael Irvin not available or something? You would think ESPN would at least have someone there to tell them not to dress like circus clowns or Leisure suit Larry.
Lions are once again on the clock and it is very anti-climatic but I still wonder how they are going to screw it up.......and sure enough THEY SCREWED IT UP!!! Gosder Cherilius??? Are you serious??? You talk about a curveball, nobody expected this one and I don't agree with it. Wouldn't you think that after giving up the most sacks in the league last season that they would go with more of a pass blocking type? Ok, after watching the film after the pick, sure, he looks like a decent lineman but not the one we (specifically I) wanted. Marinelli has a plan, Marinelli has a plan, Marinelli has a plan...I'm pretty much speechless right now.
Tigers are winning in the bottom of the 4th, Wings are up 4 at the start of the third. Dave has to leave to go have dinner with his girlfriend. Which will leave it at Dad, Mom, Me, and a about 15 Busch Lights. Still speechless...
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