Thursday, May 8, 2008

Hey Hey Hockeytown


Great commercial featuring two former Red Wings that are currently playing golf somewhere. Well, maybe not Federov, he's probably out bangin the next great Russian tennis player somewhere. Which is totally acceptable. I went to a Wings game probably twelve years ago and sure as shit, Anna Kournikova walked right up the stairs and smiled at me. It made me feel kinda funny. In fact I may have passed out.

Meanwhile on Versus...the broadcast team is already blowing the Stars and Brendan Morrow. In fact, I haven't heard them say anything at all about the Red Wings which kind of makes me wonder if they are in fact playing tonight. I wish this was on CBC. Those Canucks know how to broadcast hockey.

In other news, Verlander is off to a great start over on FSN down 3-0 with one out in the top of the second.

1:11 into the game and Kronwall is already in the box for holding. I like what Dallas is doing with Modano at the point on the powerplay. I wonder why more teams don't do it like that. Makes him seem like a true quarterback on the play and it works. Modano is old, but he's still a hockey player.

BRIAN RAFALSKI SCORES!!! Wings were on a 5-3 powerplay and Rafalski rocketed one past the well screened Turco. Kind of like I said they needed to do to beat Turco. Traffic baby, traffic.

It's nice to see Kirk Maltby back in the lineup for some human cannonball action. It's really just a matter of time before he drills somebody before or after the whistle.

I'm not a big fan of saying this, but the Wings are out-everything-ing the Stars right now. It looks like Dallas is just kind of expecting a beatdown or something. Like when you were bad and your mom said, "Wait till your dad gets home," and then he finally gets home and you kind of skulk around and try not to make eye contact. Daddy's home Dallas!! Wings go on the powerplay with just over 6 minutes left in the period and sure as shit....

JOHAN FRANZEN!! Krownwall fired a damn laser to the net where Franzen was screening Turco and sure enough the Mule redirected the shot for oh just his 12th goal of the playoffs. I am really at a loss for words here. It's just a thing of beauty. 2-0 Wings for now...Modano goes to the box with a buck thirty left in the period.

"Dallas coach looks like he let the clippers slip a little bit on the sides there." Why is Otter so obsessed with hair? "I judge a coach's talent by his hair, Dallas's guy 4 Mike Babcock, 10." I really wonder what is going through his head most of the time. End of the first the Wings are up 2-0...

Start of the second period and Versus throws a graphic up displaying Marty Turco's dismal record in Detroit. Due to possible jinx reasons I wont tell you the entire line but I will say that it contains a zero, a seven, and a two. Turco is proving me right in this game so far. He's been great on guys out in the open but bad while screened. Notably he's stoned Datsyuk twice on wide open shots right between the circles but blasts from the blueline with traffic have proven to be a challenge.

HO-LY SHIT! That was a crazy 30 second sequence there! Zetterberg on a semi breakaway wraps around the net after Turco went down for what seemed to be a wide open net and Marty Turco sprawls back to the other post and blocks the shot at the very last moment and knocks the puck away from the goal line with his paddle. Never one to be outdone, not 20 seconds later Ozzie makes a highlight reel save of his own at the other end of the ice to keep it 2-0.

Sure as shit, Otter pulls a Patterson while on the phone with the lovely Tessa and Holmstrom scores to make it 3-0. But really, that was a GREAT Wallside Windows commercial. Patterson proves to be the smartest person in the room again as he simply (or as he says "mischeviously") hits the "REC" button on the DVR. How did we not think of that? "Give me the remote Otter, you've had a good run." Matt Patterson with a rare but significant contribution.

Niklas Kronwall is a runaway cement truck bearing down on a group of circus midgets with a bunch of pet turtles and newborn fawns. Just wanted to say it. With the lead at 3-0 I can already tell you that this game could get a little chippy. In fact, it could get down right ugly. Bill McCreary is trying to keep the game close and the seven viewers watching the game on Versus from changing the channel by calling a bush league penalty which was killed off with no real problem.

Meanwhile about a mile or so down the road from Joe Louis Arena, the Tigers are in the process of losing another one to the Red Sox going into the 7th they're down 5-1.

Valateri Flippula decides to make it 4-0 on a NICE breakaway goal against Turco and I'm pretty sure we're going to see a Jose Theodore like pulling of the goalie here soon. Samuelsson and Kronwall get the helpers.

Late in the second period now and Osgood just turned away a barrage of shots from the Stars and with just over a minute left they finally find a chink in his armor and get a rebound goal from Morrow (right place right time as usual) to make it 4-1. They haven't quit yet but they will soon. I'm waiting for the Johan Franzen, "I must break you," moment. Third period action next...

Great, somehow I deleted everything I wrote about the third period. It's ok though, nothing really happened and all you missed was Jenny stealing Matt's "Stretchy underwear green gear thing," and Patterson talking about Yoga.

WINGS WIN!!!

SEVEN WINS AWAY!!!
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