Thursday, May 8, 2008

Let Me Tell You What I Think of Texas


Texas rivals Ohio as the biggest shit hole in America. And those who know me, know I have my reasons. That being said, this is what Red Wings fans should be aware of and/or worried about as the series starts tonight. There are five M's, a Z, and an R are involved.

Marty Turco is an absolute playoff beast. Through Dallas' 12 playoff games, Marty Turco has an 8-4 record, a goals against average of 1.73, and a save percentage of 92.9% against 323 shots. Very, VERY impressive. Ozzie's stat line through seven games played is a 7-0 record, a GAA of 1.52, and a 93.7% save percentage against 159 shots and has one shutout. These two netminders have been absolutely dominant thus far in the playoffs. The best way to beat Turco is to get a lot of traffic in front of him and hope you get lucky a time or two.

Mike Modano. The pride of Westland. He was even cool enough to build an ice rink there and name it after himself. He's no spring chicken, but he's also very playoff savvy as the wiley veteran that he is. He has 10 points so far in the playoffs 4 goals, 6 assists but is sporting a -3 in the +/- category which potentially means his defensive skills are deteriorating which would be great to see him on the ice against the Datsyuk line which is sporting a collective +/- of +32 (Datsyuk +13, Zetterberg +13, Holmstrom +6).

Brendan Morrow is leading the Stars in playoff goals with 7 and also has 4 assists to give him a total of 11 points. Morrow is one of, if not the most physical and aggressive player in the Stars' lineup. He is also leading the Stars in penalty minutes with 16 which means you can usually get under his skin and make him do something stupid.

Mike Ribeiro is leading the Stars in points so far in the playoffs with 14. 3 goals and 11 assists mean he is very good at setting up the score (usually with Morrow on the receiving end of a nifty pass). Ribeiro is pretty much the exact opposite of Stars' captain Morrow in that he tends to stay out of the penalty box and doesn't really play all that physical. Sounds like a job for Jiri Hudler or Niklas Kronwall to freight train him a couple of times in open ice.

Sergei Zubov is one of the league's premier defenseman and has been for years. He is very fundamentally sound a la Niklas Lidstrom but isn't as much of an offensive threat. Zubov is very mechanical in his approach to the game and won't make many mistakes mentally or physically. He is basically a robot and I don't like him for it. The good news is he's sporting an un-Zubov like -2 thus far in the playoffs.

Stephaine Robidas is the most physical of the Stars' blueliners. He plays a lot like Kronwall in that respect as he will not hesitate to take the body any time he can. He's also quite the little instigator and will do stupid things around the net and after whistles just to get under opponent's skin. He is sporting a +3 and has 8 points (7 assists) in the playoffs to go along with being in the box for 10 minutes for penalties I am assuming are malicious along the lines of aggravated assault or attempted manslaughter.

How do the Wings win this series? Scoring as many goals as possible would help. Playing good defense would also help. Yes, both of these things are vital to winning ANY game in ANY sport. The main and most important thing the Wings can and have to do to win this series and move on to face the Penguins in the Stanley Cup Finals (yes, I am predicting the Pens beating the Flyers in 5) is to play nasty, physical hockey for 60 minutes each game. Get into Turco's head a little with early goals and lots of traffic in front, and aggravate the hell out of Morrow to get him to keep taking stupid penalties. The more the Wings are on the powerplay, the better chance they have to win.

Game One of the Western Conference Finals tonight at 7 on (goddamn) Versus!!

Oh, and in other news, how clutch was Polanco last night? 5 for 6 and the game winning RBI in the bottom of the 9th to break a five game loser? That had shades of Matt Patterson throwing the game winning touchdown with no time left on the clock last night in our flag football game.

CLUTCH BABY!! CLUUUUUUTCH!!!

Wings Live(ish) Blog tonight so check back early and often!

Oh, and here is some bonus footage of Joey Kocur beating the dog piss out of North Stars' goon Link Gaetz with commentary by our favorite, Mickey Redmond!

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