Kramer Goes to Fantasy Camp, His Whole Life is a Fantasy Camp

Pierce was the only one to give me a decent idea for a blog so he wins the prize. I'll mail you an empty tin of Grizzly with my autograph on it for your great idea!

The idea for the blog is the perfect Major League Baseball lineup with every player at my disposal. Basically my own ultimate fantasy team. Hell, that's easy! And these are all up for debate so feel free to call me a dumbass.

Starting Pitcher
Johan Santana - It was a toss up between Santana and Joba Chamerlin of the Yankees. Chamberlin has one of the finest young arms the league has seen since pre juice Roger Clemens and the Yanks are stupid for not having him in the rotation. Johan Santana has gone through stretches where he is the absolute best pitcher in baseball and I would love to have him taking the hill against any team in the league hands down.

Catcher
Joe Mauer - He can hit for average and hit for power and has a ROCKET of an arm behind the dish to go along with his sweet 90210ish sideburns. Also a very young player that can only get better as the years roll on. Honorable mention to Geovany Soto from the Cubs. Youngster is tearing up the NL Central and is second among catchers in home runs.

1st Base
Ryan Howard - I know he's been playing like garbage all year but I think he would be a huge asset to any team. As soon as he gets his swing back this year, he is going to challenge for the MVP again. Honorable mention here is Kevin Youkilis from Boston. A wicked high on base percentage guy who, as Tigers fans saw last night, can hit the cover off the ball when served a belt high fastball.

2nd Base
Part of me wants to say Polanco here but right now I've got such a turd in my mouth about the Tigers and how piss poor they are playing that I will do all I can not to put any of them on the list. That being said, my second baseman will be Dustin Pedroia of Boston. Young kid with a lot of talent and potential. Also a very gritty ballplayer who seems to relish getting dirty and making things happen. Honorable mention goes to Philly's Chase Utley who at the time of writing this, is leading the Majors in home runs and SportsCenter highlights. (Editor's Note: I messed up earlier and said Jacoby Ellsbury instead of Dustin Pedroia. Luckily, Pierce called me out on it. Thanks for the help bud. I got the two small white guys confused with each other, that'll happen.)

Shortstop
Troy Tulowitzki - Also a player mired in an early season slump but the way he played all of last year and through the playoffs for the Rockies made me an instant fan. Also has the best name in baseball this side of Jared Saltalamacchia. Honorable Mention - Derek freakin Jeter, even though I hate his guts.

3rd Base
Mike Lowell - Mainly because he beat cancer and came back a better ballplayer. Honorable mention to Brandon Inge who I still think is getting hosed by the higher paid players on the Tigers roster. This guy needs to be on the field as much as possible. Hello? Jim Leyland? Are you listening to me like you did yesterday when you essentially ended Jacque Jones' career like I told you to?

Outfielder #1
I want to say Manny Ramierez I really do, but I'm going against my own wishes and Red Sox bias and saying Carl Crawford of Tampa. A great contact style hitter and a burner on the basepaths.

Outfielder #2
Ken Griffey Jr. circa 1995. What if Junior would have started taking juice at the same time Bonds did? He would probably have 800+ home runs right now. Luckily, Junior has always respected the game and had he not been struck down with so many injuries after going home to Cincy, he would have easily hit over 700 home runs and maybe challenged Babe Ruth's and Hank Aaron's record the way they did it, naturally. Honorable mention to Curtis Granderson and Cameron Maybin. Granderson is already a star in the league and Maybin WILL be a star for a long, long time once he gets his bat going.

Outfielder #3
Vladmir Guerrero - Nobody has a stronger arm out of Right than Vlad does. His borderline undisciplined style at the plate is not only fun to watch but very productive. Honorable mention to Ichiro and Fukudome. Ichiro for his production and Fukudome for his funny name.

Designated Hitter
David Ortiz. Do I really need to explain this one at all?

Bench Player
Marcus Thames - Marcus is another guy who is getting screwed by the Tigers. Marcus would be a starter on any other team in the league but for some reason Dombrowski decided we needed more expensive and potentially great or aging players. Another good bench/role player is Dave Roberts, the dude who started the Red Sox rally against the Yankees in 2004 with the stolen base.

Closing Pitcher
Jonathon Papelbon - Anyone who comes out of the bullpen to Dropkick Murphys music and then dominates onces he's on the hill can pitch for me any day of the week.

Manager
Lou Pinella because you never know when he's going to go apeshit and throw some bases around. Also, Lou Pinella is a great manager, his players seem to like him and he typically wins wherever he goes. Well...except for that failed experiment in Tampa but I'm willing to look past that. Honorable mention to Jim Leyland because I feel like I have to say it.

Tonight on TV we have the Tigers annnnnd...that's it, the Tigers. Maybe a live blog of that later..